Author

unreaLily

avoidant->suicidal->enraged->active->

by unreaLily 6/27/2018

written by unreaLily

I’ve been going in and out of this cycle for years.
My story goes like this:

I’ve been abused for as long as I remember.
Since third grade, I started skipping school. I showed early signs of psychosis then.
After that, I was a bully. I was sure my classmates were after me, and I would retaliate by bullying others.
One day, I realized what I was doing, and that, in addition of being abused, it made me dissociate from myself.
But later, I was abusive again. I hurt one person I now deeply love. I was forgiven, but I can’t forgive myself.
I tried overdosing […]

6/27/2018 2 comments

the grave of dead dreams

by unreaLily 6/21/2018

written by unreaLily

pardon the quality

6/21/2018 2 comments

Hopeless

by unreaLily 6/19/2018

written by unreaLily

I’m so fucking alone. One can’t just spout “I wished I was dead” to others. This is my first post here, it’s a bit ramble-y.

I don’t know what to do anymore. The suicidal impulses got better with medication, but I can’t move on and work and live my life like a normal person. Almost every day I hope to die.

I lived multiple suicide attempts, but I feel like I didn’t deserve to survive. I can’t support myself- why should I live? I feel like a disgrace of an adult. I only got a few years to get better, before my brain decides to quit trying. […]

6/19/2018 2 comments