The depression, the insanity, it all hit me hard, down into the ground. It all started happening again a month ago. I was doing better. I have become worst than I have been in months.  The voices in my head became louder, the nightmares became horrid, the blade is waiting there for me, AND the stress just sitting there own my shoulders. “Maryjane” has been my only friend there for me. I just cant do whatever this is anymore. I don’t even  know what to do anymore. I wish I had the courage to eventually to just end it all. But, I’m hanging in there.Â
Right now, I really don’t see the reason for trying or for talking or for breathing. I’m just done. I’m tired of being not pretty enough. I’m tired of not being not skinny enough. I’m tired of not being perfect enough. I’m tired of being pushed around and being called those nasty names. I’m tired of not being good enough. And mostly, I’m tired of being tired. I don’t know why everybody hates me, or maybe I do because now I hate me too. I look at the mirror everyday and I cant look at that ugly looking piece of shit in the mirror. My “friends” […]