Author

WaitAndBleed

Where to begin…

by WaitAndBleed 1/8/2015

written by WaitAndBleed

….the end. Hopefully soon.

cut myself for the first time in 4 years yesterday.Spend most days drunk on alcohol/valium or both yet still going to work but it’s getting harder. The fact I get a train doesn’t help, it would be easy to jump in front of one cause I get plenty of option to but hey, I don’t wanna fuck up their lives by hitting me.

wanting to throw myself downstairs daily is so frustrating, other people seem to be happy! What the fuck is that?

Im glad they are but i’m just wondering how that feels!

I wanted a gun, but in the UK it’s pretty difficult. […]

1/8/2015 1 comment

Facebook

by WaitAndBleed 11/29/2014

written by WaitAndBleed

Everyone else I’m with is checking Facebook and I’m checking suicide project to make sure that I’m not alone in feeling insane!

Fuck me. Sick of this shit.

11/29/2014 5 comments

Alcohol.

by WaitAndBleed 11/29/2014

written by WaitAndBleed

I know in the back of my mind it won’t help but it’ll at least help me forget.

or give me the confidence to finally kill myself. I need to feel less guilty. Then I’ll finally do it.

11/29/2014 3 comments

Honestly…

by WaitAndBleed 11/29/2014

written by WaitAndBleed

….There are so many of us. So many of us who feel suicidal and want to harm ourselves. Yet most of us say we hide away and/or try to fit in. Why is there this pressure/stigma to depression that just adds to the guilt we already have. Scared of hurting family and friends by telling them how we honestly feel. Other people can be selfish, put themselves first, are taught to look after themselves if they are treated wrong or are ill, but feeling suicidal doesn’t get anything other than a raised eyebrow, or a look of fear from people like you are going to blow […]

11/29/2014 5 comments

Exhausted

by WaitAndBleed 11/28/2014

written by WaitAndBleed

It’s been so long since I slept. I can’t focus and I keep leaving work early because I can’t stay awake. Get home and i can’t stop my mind to sleep. It’s whirring constantly like white noise. I can’t even deal with my thoughts separately, to make progress. I’ve finally found a decent therapist (after years of shitty ones) but I’m still scared it won’t get better. I get attached to people easily and get so easily offended. I need to be stronger but I can’t be here much longer it’s so exhausting just waking up :/ I keep thinking of ways to end it […]

11/28/2014 1 comment

Byee

by WaitAndBleed 11/20/2014

written by WaitAndBleed

Seems that by saying I feel like killing myself and mentioning it was my birthday in the same sentence meant I deserved some abuse. I don’t care how old I am. I put my age as I was sick of feeling like this for years. Not because I want to die because I’m a certain age.

I fucking hate life and being here.

Good fucking bye

11/20/2014 3 comments

So tired

by WaitAndBleed 11/20/2014

written by WaitAndBleed

Only been out of the house 2 hours and feel like I could sleep for a week! Why is it like this?!!!!! I hate it!! Always tired yet struggle to sleep 🙁

11/20/2014 0 comment

I’m new here

by WaitAndBleed 11/20/2014

written by WaitAndBleed

Hi everyone.

I’m new to this site. I don’t know what I’m looking for or what I want because at the minute I don’t feel anything. I guess I want to be able to write things to people who have more chance of understanding. I had a couple of years of feeling I was making progress and on a path to happiness, but recently I feel so depressed and flat I have no emotion I’m just here. I used to cut and have tried to kill myself a few times. I just feel like I’m floating around struggling to concentrate and do my job well. I […]

11/20/2014 2 comments