I hate myself. Why do I try to do anything ever. I always fail, if not that way then in another. I’m not enough for anyone. My “friends” that I made in the fucking mental hospital abandoned me. And I know people always say “don’t be friends with people from the hospital, outside of the hospital” but I don’t care. This was different. I love them with my whole heart, and they threw me away like I was nothing. Like I am nothing. And I hate hate hate them for it. Is that fair of me? I don’t fucking care anymore. They left me behind […]
I don’t know why I try. I’ve been suicidal for 4 years and have had many attempts but they all fail. Am I a coward? Am I not strong enough? I think I am. I’ve been hospitalized 4 times. Nothing helps. I don’t want anything to help. My therapist doesn’t get that. I want them to understand, but I also don’t. I am just a big contradiction. Am I not suicidal enough? I am. Then why am I alive? I don’t know. School starts soon. I hate it. I go so I can hide in the bathroom and cut. Why do I cut? The answer […]