whyohwhysky

Today I realized something about the world. No one can handle my deep sadness; there is no person alive–or, if there is there are very very few, and probably live in Tibet or something–that can stand by me without leaving or lying or being drained.

The world has broken the last bit of trust I had. I trust no one. The world has spoken: they want the fake me. They’ll only accept me if I put on a mask of happiness. So, I will swallow my sadness. I will swallow my anger. I will let no one inside. You want to know how my day was? […]

My ******** tank teases me with its eternal delivery. Can’t come soon enough. I like to brand myself as an intellectual yet after studying very hard for my biology final I get a C. At a community college nonetheless. This morning I awake to my emotionally abusive cousin and her evil family banging at my window to let them in thr house. They have a key and regardless, there’s a fucking doorbell.

I suppose they enjoy torturing the weak one, the sensitive one, the baby of the family.

I hate life.

Everyone has their story so I’ll make mine brief.

I never had a mother or father, or any consistent adult in my life so I guess I fall under the general “abandonment issues” blanket. It’s been 15 years of therapy and various psychiatric drugs for anxiety and depression, yet I still don’t feel that my issues can be explained by such a meaningless phrase. I’m 22 and have always had difficulties making and keeping friends so I have none at the moment. In the last few years my desire to make friends has completely vanished. I used to vacillate between hope and sever depression, but I […]