I’m very jealous tonight of people that will die in their sleep at the age of 88, looking back on a well lived life, and never having to have contemplated suicide.
Woody
Keep getting this knotted feeling in my stomach right now. Think it’s coming from thinking about suicide all the time and researching methods.
Dunno if it’s actually that I’m scared I wont actually go through with it when I get a method.
I’m an athiest, but hypothetically if some of us were actually in hell just now would we actually know it? I’m guessing there wouldn’t be any signposts saying “welcome to hell” when we actually arrived.
I like and dislike it now. Like it at the time. Makes me feel good for a few hours, but I know exactly where my minds going back to again tommorow.
I’ve come to this process full on over the past few months. Before that It was just a small thought here and there. I sometimes cant believe that suicide is actually gonna be my fate, and that at some point in the future I’ll depart this earth, although the thought excites me sometimes because I know that the cards have already been dealt and there’s nothing I can do about that. I do believe it’s unstoppable now, and it will be my destiny however long it takes. I know there are people here that are actually in a worse place than I am right now […]
If you had told me 20 years ago what was coming I’d have laughed in disbelief. I developed a social phobia which kept me inside for a long time and I’ve had OCD variants.
I couldn’t afford to be suicidal before, but I did have it in my mind that If a bereavement which was certain to happen at some point actually came out about I would make my mind up and act at that time. That bereavement has happened and It’s really the final straw.
Shockingly I’ve now ran into a brick wall with methods (Im not asking for help with methods, I probably them all […]