this is probably it. Something happened today with K, and I couldnt keep the promise i made to myself, and life is treating me unfairly. And i know its selfish. And its cruel to those who care about me. But i cant keep living. Not like this. I tried getting help. I tried talking to someone. But i cant. I cant tell anyone else. It hurts to see them sympathize. And when he tells me it will be ok, i cant force myself to believe it.
wordlesswords
Ive been thinking and reading your comments and I think i will tell him how i feel. I’m nervous about ruining our friendship. And my friendship with this other girl. And im nervous about what i will do if he rejects me or acts weirdy about it, even though i know he isnt the kind of person to do that.
Do you ever feel that when you tell people how depressed you are, you make them hate you? I feel like everytime I tell someone, I am annoying them. And it amazes me sometimes that I still have friends. I’ve been dropping friends like flies recently. […]
Over the past month, i have written several notes. They all begin will the word sorry. Because even when im thinking about death, i am worried about offending or hurting others. I dont know why I am even writing this. I kind of want to feel like someone is listening, im not sure. Ive been so sad lately. Ive fallen into this hole of depression. Last time i was this deep was 4 years ago. I dont know how i got out honestly. Its not that i want to die or anything, its just that i dont want to live.
Im in love with this boy. Hes the […]