Its been about 3 years since the last time I’ve posted on here. Looking back at my posts I couldn’t believe what I used to do to myself. Hurting myself over a stupid boy? That once broke my heart into pieces, now wants me back. Pathetic. I am now 19. Over 2 years since Ive cut myself anywhere on my body. I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I am now in a happy healthy relationship. With a boy who actually cares about my feelings and my well being. We have been dating for almost 3 years and Ive never been happier in my relationship. […]
im curious what it is people do when feeling they want to kill themselves. i mean most of us feel suicidal, but we find a spurt of hope and thats why were all still here; especially on this website. can someone reach out to me and help? i would love to kill myself, but i want to attempt to help myself before giving up
i wish i didn’t have to end my life over a boy. i never thought i would be the type of girl, depending on her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) to guide her through her life. deciding wether to let her live or make her die. The choice was decided about 9:30 last night. while i was being ignored for hours on end, i couldnt take it anymore. a sad girl being ignored does not make a happy ended. i cut both my hips and carved “i love you” on one hip bone and “im sorry” on the other. even if i did send him a picture of […]
I carved his name into my skin and now hopefully ill have a scar of his name on my skin forever. in school today ill imagining the ways that ill be killing myself when I get home. I don’t have a pulse without him, I don’t know how Im alive and breathing right now. I love him more than I love myself. This relationship was more important to me then keeping myself alive was. He doesn’t understand what I am without him. I don’t even understand it. I love him so much. If he doesn’t talk to me before I go home, ill be dead […]
i hate myself more than ive ever hated anyone else on the planet. im such a nobody, no friends, no boyfriend, family hates me; my bestfriend and only friend ran away and didn’t even ask me to go with her, she was found but she has had no contact with me in 2 weeks and it hurts so much. im ignored by the only boy ive ever loved and ever will love. all i have left is my pookie bear (yes im 16 and i love my teddy bear), and my blades. i just recently got new blades from a pencil sharpener which was genius […]
my life is so pathetic and I’m only going downhill. In school, I have to bring a razor with me, such as when I’m in math class and I’m craving pain, or to watch my blood flow down my arms and through my sweater; I ask for the bathroom pass and walk slowly down the hallway watching my feet as I step. Razor in my sweater pocket. I go into a stall and make sure no one is in the stall next to me, just in case my blood drips on the floor. once I’ve made about 12 adjacent cuts to each other, I take […]
these demons haunt my brain and my skin. they make me pull my razor out and cut deeper and deeper each time. my cutting is so pathetic I have to bring my razor to school and cut in between classes just to feel great amounts of pain through out the day. my mind is dark with few patches of white for my family. my mom doesn’t understand why I’m always bleeding and asking forgiveness. Im sorry I must feel the pain. Starving myself is my favorite way to feel pain. All it takes is 3 days for my body to feel completely numb and happy […]
i would really love to jump in front of a train. make my death quick and easy.
well now the only person in the world who actually cared about me is out of my life. im sick to my stomach and my wrists are numb. i want to disappear. pondering thoughts on how to do it. im thinking a train or maybe overdose. love is so complicated and no where near easy. everything in my life from now on will be dark. there’s not light or good in anything. maybe someday things will get fixed, love has done nothing but eat me alive. i feel sick, i dont even feel human because my heart is no longer beating.