heartless

well now the only person in the world who actually cared about me is out of my life. im sick to my stomach and my wrists are numb. i want to disappear. pondering thoughts on how to do it. im thinking a train or maybe overdose. love is so complicated and no where near easy. everything in my life from now on will be dark. there’s not light or good in anything. maybe someday things will get fixed, love has done nothing but eat me alive. i feel sick, i dont even feel human because my heart is no longer beating.