I’ve lived the last 5 years with severe depression and I’m sick of everything. Why should I bother anymore? To quote Macbeth; “I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as to go on.” My life is miserable at the moment, has been for a long time, and likely will be for alot longer. I’ve even found that I’m too useless to even help myself; when I make commitments to myself to make a change for the better I always break it and find that I’ll always be the coward I swore I’d never become. […]
That’s how I feel at the moment. If anybody could see who I truly was, I’d be finally, truly alone. Maybe that’s what it will take to get the courage to end everything. I’m stuck in this fucking hole, and when being myself leads to pain, what else have I got than to lie, or to give up the act and let everything fall apart?
Nobody will ever understand who I am and what I still think about doing… if it gives any perspective, I’ve had dreams of killing people and watching them choke on their own blood. That was when I was eight, and the […]
I’ve been suffering pretty severe depression for roughly four and a half years now. Throughout this entire battle I’ve had with the snakes in my head, the demons in my personality, nothing has helped. I’ve been on different types of drugs, I’ve seen councilors, I’ve talked to friends and family in a search for hope and understanding – and I always end up back in this state of desperation. It’s reasonably well known that there are suicidal people who don’t actively want to die, they just want the pain to cease. The thing is, I actually want to die. I’ve had on and off feelings […]