For general topics related to the site.
Surprisingly the Seattle football team is putting me in good spirits. Knowing everyone there is having such a wonderful time cheering with friends and family distracts my mind from the darker ideas. I’m not sad tonight. Which is a good thing. It helps to read these posts and understand how others feel and live with what goes on inside them. Thank you for this site
Wished i could get off the bed right now, but i cant, why? Because i just cant. Its so warm and cozzy here. Wanna join me?
No i cant, i am too busy planning my demise.
Ok no problem, hey! Will you join us at Bob’s place today?
No i cant, cant you see, i just want to kill myself, i just want to jump off a bridge or stick a big fat knife right above my navel, can you help me?
Hell no, what do you want to go about jumping off bridges and sticking knife in you navel for?
I am depressed
you re depressed, i […]
Why is it that I can’t go a day without thinking about killing myself?
Why do the girls at school hate me so much?
Why can’t I remember what happened to me?
Why is it that I hate myself so damn much?
Why do I cut myself almost every day?
Why can’t I stop?
Why is it my parents hate who I’ve become?
Why do the churches say that being bisexual is wrong?
Why can’t I be normal?
Why is it that I can’t be with who I love because she’s a girl?
Why do the boys bully me?
Why can’t I be accepted for who I am?
Why oh why does this world have to be […]
That’s how I feel. I want to die, but I feel stuck now. There are people who love me. People who want to see me get far in life. But I barely have any motivation to do anything. I don’t have a job, and I wasn’t able to graduate last year because of the sheer amount of days I missed from school. My ex is the total opposite of me. He has likes, wants, goals, and tons of motivation. He graduated high school last year, and took on a job at wal-mart to support his hobbies. I’m this person who’s dependent on medication and even […]
The night before last I let my anchor go – the only person who held me somewhat together. He broke up with me last year after a few years of long distance dating but we remained close friends up until now. He has a new girlfriend and it was clear he was drifting further away from our friendship no matter how much he denied it. I don’t blame him. He was broken like me when I met him, not suicidal that I know of but certainly depressed, and over the years he has gotten better and I have not.
It was probably horrible of me but […]
2day is a good day. My husband and I have been created celebrating his father’s birthday with our best friend KK. sometimes the very thing that u need is right in front of you .
Today,for the 1st time in almost 2 years, I confided in a mutual friend. I told her of my thoughts and she insisted that I hear her thoughts and those of her son.. 4 the 1st time in a long time I actually feel like I will be able to prove that I am innocent. Thank you KK & NK. Xx
Yesterday I was arrested on the GG bridge for a suicide attempt. I was there. I had it. The motivation was there. My leg started to climb up over the railing. Then I saw the police coming. Now this was REALLY it. I could either just use my other leg and take the leap, or go back the other way and let the cops take me into custody. Unfortunately, I’m still here which means I succumbed to the arms of two policeman.
To those who haven’t seen it, the view is incredible. Such a serene feeling knowing that you could take your life right then and […]
Yesterday I made a post with an honest question asking your opinion about a method I’ve concocted (or so I believe) and comparing it with another method more… classic, lets say. No answer in my mail. So I come back today to the site and find that my post has been deleted. No explanation, no comment. Just puff, vanished. Hey pals, thanks! What a wonderful community. You gave a me a new reason to put in the bag full of them I already have!
Finally, it makes sense.
Just give up on the idea of a perfect social conforming future. Ha!
I’ve never felt so comfortable in my life. I never have to care again.
If I don’t find a job, stiff biscuits! I’m at home anyway, so support is always there.
No partner ever again. Been there, experienced it. Better than not having had that at all.
It just moves on. Carefree as it goes. The only stresses in life are the ones caused by excessive desire for social success and the needless comparison to other people, who don’t care about you anyway.
So I say fuck it! Take your […]
Hi, I’ve just found this site and – due to being bipolar, having Asperger’s syndrome and having physical health problems – since I feel suicidal 99% of the time thought I would join.
Mea culpa; I didn’t read every post – most from 2011 only – but it struck me how intelligent everybody sounds. I really do believe “ignorance is bliss” and unintelligent people can live in a healthy bubble unlike more intelligent ones who just exist.
I don’t want to exist. please help me. I don’t want to be here anymore, i have two kids and a husband. i know it sounds terrible but before i met my husband i was dead set on ending everything. I saw love in him and hope and a future. My children are everything to me but I’m not good enough for any of them. I cant even get out of bed half the time. My pain runs so deep and i don’t think anything will make it stop.
Wouldn’t it be nice to know that there’s someone who loves you and you do the same too for the other? I guess life is only worth living if there’s someone loving you.
“Love is when someone is willing to die for you, willing to kill for you…”
But what do I know? What is love?
Your Position is only a step above, I am just one step below
Your Attitude is only a Reflection of your Belittled mind.
Your only an idiot in a non existant world.
Your nothing to me
My Imagination is beyond your Appreciation
My Dedication is beyond your Contemplation
My Motivation is beyond your Suffocation
My world is far beyond your Imagination
My mind is beyond your reach
I have finally given up my will to live. I know that there’s no point, when all I have to look forward to is more of the same. Even if I were to manage to get through this period in my life, it would just be another rotation of the wheel that is my mental health. I might be able to get help and become “happy” again, but my depression will just come back around again and again. So I’ve given up the will to fight any longer. That part of me is gone. My will is dead. Like it was a real person. Will […]
A place where the suffering people ,like us,can live and try to find understanding and support amongst our own. If I dont go SOMEWHERE,ill die soon.. YES,it seems unwise,I suppose ,to draw all the walking wounded mentally ill and despairing desperate together into one place—,but isn’t the loneliness and pain already unbearable and are not many among us already taking extremely risky and reckless chances to attempt to kill th pain? What if we could make a pilgrimage to our very own monument- a monument to outrage,and sadness,and despair.It would be a monument to express ALL the MANY Reasons we are suicidal and suffering.What if […]
So much sadness.I am going to be very quiet.I am going to be very still. If I do this I can stop trying to explain to them what the matter is,and for that matter,ANYTHING I want to talk of to them…its all no good -they do not want to know.Ive worn their love and interest right the fuck out of them .Nothing I can say about anything is of any relevance.I either go from here and wander til I find a way to live,or to die…or I lay here and die..
My mind and soul are tired of this game.
My heart hurts deeply and is full with lots of pain.
Many thoughts run through my mind, hoping I can find the secret to live a happy life.
After my searching is done, I always open my eyes to the dark and find myself thinking ….oh I’m fucked!
Fucked because I know there is nothing for me.
No smiles ….no laughing….no comforting dreams.
No light at the end of the tunnel and no angels to take me home.
Only a knife down my arm, the blood turns cold.
A hole full of darkness were they don’t […]
I want to know what you really would like to see from people who are supporting you?
I see these ads for a self-help depression website on TV and online a lot. It’s depression.org.nz and it’s for New Zealanders (though I’d imagine others can access it). Heaps of the media messages have been about getting out there and telling people, family and friends, about how you are feeling. However no mass-media campaign in NZ has yet to inform people specifically how they can help.
Since I started talking about my experience, I’ve had mixed reactions to my struggles ranging from “Oh that sounds hard” to “Don’t worry, sometimes […]
When I say seniors, I don’t mean school grade. I mean ‘over 65.’ I want to know if there are any others near my age on this website. I’m not presently suicidal. I have been most of my life. But now death is a given in the next 30 years or so. I’m wondering how persons from my generation who have survived feel now. Are there any on this website?
I’m presently having some physical problems. I am consulting with my general practitioner. I am not afraid of death, a friend I have sought during most of my life; but I’m also not afraid to live.
How […]
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