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General

For general topics related to the site.

Hi my name is Sunflower

by sunflower 5/10/2013

written by sunflower

Hi everyone my name is Sunflower. I have been a member of this sight for a while now (over a year i think maybe 2). This sight has helped me tremendously. When I had no one I came here to talk and express my feelings. Ive made friends here; some of whom havent come on for a while and I hope are doing well. When Â I say I love you all i mean it. My life has been hell, confusing and oh so very lonely and SP has been my light through all the darkness. Anyone who I havent talked to on here i do […]

5/10/2013 7 comments

One of the worst days ever…

by butterfly_free 5/10/2013

written by butterfly_free

i don’t even know what to write. i had a kind of crisis within myself today. i do’t really know what happened. i just fell. i felt nothing and then i felt sick and then i just .. i dont know. and the person i reached out to got very angry at me. and now wont answer my calls. and i keep thinking i cant feel worse,and then i do. this is worse than the despair, sadness, worse because it feels empty, void of feeling , even bad feelings. the only thing i feel is fear.

no, i do feel llike crying. i am not even […]

5/10/2013 6 comments

Scary thoughts

by allthatcrysishuman 5/10/2013

written by allthatcrysishuman

I don’t want to die. But I think of endless ways to kill myself. I dont try to think of ways it just comes to me. It scares me and my body shakes and i have a panic attack so bad i can’t breath. My mother gets on to me for a lot of stuff. when she gets onto me if i say anything back at all, even that i didn’t mean to or something,Â I get introuble at for talking back, if i say nothing i get yelled at for pouting and having an attitude. i don’t know what she wants me to do. […]

5/10/2013 4 comments

Something Needs To Be Done Soon

by unlovable_me 5/10/2013

written by unlovable_me

I really don’t want to live like this any longer. I don’t even want to live at all any longer. Yet for some reason I keep procrastinating. Could it be fear? Possibly. I’ve been raised to believe that suicide is a sin and is a one way ticket to hell. Is hell much worse than what I’m living in now? I don’t know. Usually, the unknown has scared me. Could it be hope? Possibly. Why I should have any hope left in my heart is beyond me. Maybe there is the tiniest shred of hope in the deepest corners of my heart, but my brain […]

5/10/2013 5 comments

What do I do now?

by NoEscape 5/10/2013

written by NoEscape

I’ve tried to kill myself Â before. No one knows of course. Sadly the entire bottle of pills I took didn’t do anything but make me vomit the next day away. My family just thought it was the flu. They have no clue that I want to die, they don’t know that I hate my self with the entirety of my being. No one knows. I don’t want people to know, I don’t want to be that weird suicidal girl. The one that everyoneÂ pities, the girl that no one knows what to do with. I’m now a senior inÂ high schoolÂ and graduation is less than two weeks […]

5/10/2013 4 comments

I am perfect

by table 5/10/2013

written by table

I am obviously perfect. I am the best person possible.

I am the most talented person who ever lived. Not being able to do anything well is the most important and amazing ability anyone could have.

I am the most handsome and good looking person ever. Who could ever say lazy eyes, thick messy hair, big head, giant thighs stomach and face, and an annoying voice is ugly?

I am the nicest and sociable person ever. Everyone loves how I say the most awkward things possible and the blank looks they give me mean they think I am the greatest person ever.

This doesn’t work at all.

5/10/2013 3 comments

I’m gonna join the stars.

by VodkaAndRazors 5/10/2013

written by VodkaAndRazors

I have officially decided to make sure I kill myself this time. I don’t know exactly when, but it’s going to be soon. Â The only time I’ve tried it was around 6 months ago. I took a pack of razors to the alternative school I was attending at the time, went to the bathroom, and started cutting my arms. I only managed to get through the first layer of skin at first. I knew this wouldn’t be enough to bleed out so I took the razor and started slicing into one of the long wounds I had already made and I hear a knock at […]

5/10/2013 2 comments

No Air

by WiltedRose 5/10/2013

written by WiltedRose

I hold the thick black string around my neck. I stare in Â the mirror at my face. It goes from pale, to red, to purplish- gray. I can’t breathe, and it’s peaceful. I don’t know why but for some reason choking myself helps. Even though I could go longer, I stop before I pass out so no one finds out, and I don’t get admitted into a hospital. This is what calms me down, this and cutting. Its messed up, I know.

5/10/2013 2 comments

Ruined Plans

by sleeplessinSTL 5/10/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

I was going to kill myself. I was going to just jump off a cliff in my home town. I had the gut to do it too. But my mom cancelled my fucking flight to my hometown.

I was so happy that I was going to see my family before I died. I didn’t want to see my adoptive mom before I killed myself, but she had to mess everything up. I hoped for a miracle that would stop me from killing myself, but not THIS. I wanted something happy to make me feel good and second guess my plans. But sheÂ cancelled my flight.

I really hate […]

5/10/2013 1 comment

I know I’m going to kill myself in time

by bluesforthesun 5/10/2013

written by bluesforthesun

For all my life I have just passed from one painful absurdity to the next. And all along I thought, woe is me, I haven’t any luck in life; a life of a boy who was intellectual, creative, loving, and self-aware. As I came to adulthood, I came to the melancholic realization that I am none of these things, nor have I ever been. Even with every shred of sorrowful heartbreak and death of a loved one or a cherished emotion, from every punch in the groin to every stab in the neck, the truly, most dangerously negative force was my own sense of self. […]

5/10/2013 1 comment

in respons to jacqueline and to aney one who cares

by why i dont no 5/10/2013

written by why i dont no

I guess this is it, so this is goodbye, you leave me here, and away you fly. I guess that your gone, all I can do is cry, I thought youâ€™d prove me wrong, that youâ€™d never dieâ€¦but, you went away on angels wingsâ€¦.you kissed the sky and flew away from, me. Itâ€™s all my fault, everything, I couldvâ€™e helped you, youâ€™d of seen, but, Iâ€™m too late, now youâ€™re gone, youâ€™re not coming back with the light of the sun, noâ€¦you canâ€™t leave, meâ€¦.you canâ€™t dieâ€¦tell me your lying, that your just trying to […]

5/10/2013 0 comment

liars haters no way out

by serena 5/10/2013

written by serena

lies bs and sadness i dont like this SMILE I SAY SMILE AND PEOPLE GO AND HATE ME

5/10/2013 0 comment

Storming at Dawn

by clevername 5/10/2013

written by clevername

“Ooooh…”

So i was sitting outside a while ago, enjoying a smoke at dawn, during a rather precipitous rain storm…

A faded flash behind the veil, an echoed crack of thunder in the distance…

Crossed paths with some memories, thought about where i’d left some things…

There’s a certain person who is always close inside, no matter how far removed from my physical life, who i just can’t help but think of, when it rains.

Or when it’s just cloudy.

Or when it’s sunny.

Or when it’s just a normal windy day.

I recalled a recurring theme i used to employ, as part of my previously favorable attitude and outlook that this person […]

5/10/2013 1 comment

I have no friends

by lilylily2899 5/10/2013

written by lilylily2899

I’m Lily, I’m 15- I have social anxiety and I have no friends- well I have fake ones 🙁

Every day I go to school I feel alone and awkward when my friends are with their friends. I’m just standing there, I wish I was confident enough to make other friends but I’m not. My closest “friend” does her best to make me feel out of place by ignoring me and leaving me out of things. I’ve tried to tell them how I feel twice but they must think I am just trying to get attention or something. In a way I am trying to get […]

5/10/2013 12 comments

Suicide note to sister. This is the messy part.

by blah9085 5/10/2013

written by blah9085

Here’s the current draft of my note to my sister. Fairly long, and the section where I try to convince her that she doesn’t have a reason to completely fall apart in life sounds so damn hollow and conceited. Hrm.

Oh, [sister’s name].

I have made the choice to exit life early. I could have written an entire manifesto as to the reasons why, but that would do little to console you or convince you that the decision was rational. I didn’t do this because of trivial aspects of my life that likely would have improved over time. It wasn’t an impulsive reaction to specific events in […]

5/10/2013 7 comments

One Big Act

by Imsodone 5/10/2013

written by Imsodone

I act like everything is fine. I laugh at people’s jokes, I do silly things with my friends and act like I have a carefree life. It’s funny though, When I come back home, I just turn off that mental switch. Then suddenly I break down. I feel alone, empty, tired. I can’t exactly describe how I feel into words. It’s like I have two different me’s.

The one for the public, and one for myself. Only if they knew. Only if.

5/10/2013 9 comments

Ending it on a camping trip, details

by blah9085 5/10/2013

written by blah9085

Well, my camping trip is booked for next week – a trip scheduled for my birthday. Aren’t I nice, scheduling my suicide around my birthday to leave the 2 people I care about with one time a year to have to grieve (rather than both a birth and death dates). Good timing too; I quit my job 2 months ago and the money is just running out. Maxed out $10k on credit card, dipped into bank overdraft, and just missed a car payment for the first time. Luckily no co-signers on any of it, family won’t be responsible for any of the debt. Extra incentive […]

5/10/2013 3 comments

in my tiny box, outside of everything

by clevername 5/10/2013

written by clevername

I’m not sure which is worse…

The agonizing requirements of interacting with those who don’t understand…

Or the “dead spots” when there is no one available, with whom to interact.

I honestly believe that if i could just make enough money…

If i could establish some sort of reliable method of generating income…

If i could “fix” just enough of my problems that i could have my own sustainable existence…

Maybe then i’d be content to tolerate the rest of the misery, and able to focus on sharing complex ideas in ways that those who could find them useful, would be able to understand.

And so i frame my problem thusly, and […]

5/10/2013 3 comments

nightly rant

by SadSteve 5/10/2013

written by SadSteve

What do you do when the pain so great that you just want to die but you cant because you know that if you do you will be pretty much killing your mom, dad and a couple of kids who look up to you. Â What do you do? Â I cant find a job. Â If I had money I would smoke some weed and I wouldn’t even think of suicide because when I’m high the reverse happens and I start thinking about survival. Â But I have nothing. Â I watch the damn Illuminati controlled TV all day. Â Even McDonalds wont call me back for an interview. Â I’m […]

5/10/2013 1 comment

Alone… Lonely too

by lildoll 5/10/2013

written by lildoll

I’m in a place where no one takes me as a human being. My parents are narrow minded and strict. My real friends are on the other side of the world but this is their exam time so they cant spend too much time on me. The so-called “friends” I have here talks to me only when they need something. I don’t have anyone who can support me. Some people say that ‘You don’t need support from others. Support yourself all the way!” Its true. After all, it’s reality too. But I’ve been trying to support myself for years. I always tend to feel weak […]

5/10/2013 5 comments

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