General

I just realized I have no really friends they all live in my head, I’m not schizophrenic, I just talk, I imagine who I would talk to. It’s like there is some one who actually cares about me. No one in real life would listen or care about my problem like suicide and cutting so I had to make people who would listen. For the past 4 years I lived in this world that I have created in my head, ever time I am alone physically, I’m never alone in my mind. Thats how reality is, its not really none of it, no really cares about you. I guess that’s why […]

well i have this friend shes is like a fucken ***** some times and makes me feel like complet shit and then some times she like a life saver and i felt so bad when some  one told me some one died in her family and i felt like the biggest worthless peace of shit becuse i was telling her about things and then she said i was anoying and i tryed to leave her and just think alone and be sad with out her i cant tell weather people are my friends or just feel bad any more killing my self honestly seems like […]

I don’t have anybody to talk to. I sit alone in my house all the time cause its better than having to fake a smile for any more than i have to. I wish i had someone who knew how i felt and who understood how i feel.

i have been bullied since 1st grade and i only had one true friend that stuck by me through everything and last year she tried to commit suicide. If my friend tries again and succeeds i will also commit suicide cause i couldn’t imagine life without her.

Idk how much longer I can take of this useless life of mine. Its geting worse another year and im still depressed miserable lonely and wanting death more than ever. I had another breakdown the other day but this one was different… My entire soul broke cracked in peices. So I cut it didnt hurt much feels good too good . Im scared of myself when I look in the mirror I nolonger see me . I see the person who been killing me since I was 6 years old. She’s smiling telling me to finally give up to do it already. The last […]

So I had planned on the first week in January.. but still have unfinished business, i figured id have my title loan paid off by now, thats all im waiting on… Im a Athiest i dont believe in a afterlife or some piece of shit in the clouds.. we Coexist, anyway i love taking my oxys and just waiting to get my loan paid off… which will be soon.. 😉 i do what i want, when i want and whatever i feel like doing.. nobody can stop us… not even a Fake so called thing (god) thanks for listening… […]

So, I won’t go into the reasons why or what the hell went wrong in my brain. I won’t sit here and say that I’m bipolar and it’s the chemical imbalances in my brains fault. I won’t sit here and say that everyone else had some sort of huge affect on me that I decided to do what I’m doing or had tried to do in the past but didn’t succeed, which was really just more along the lines of making myself suffer rather than putting an end to it. Again, I won’t explain why. Just like me, you all have your own problems. I […]

Smile and pick yourself up even if you’ve had enough.
Your problems don’t matter no one cares.
I swear if I died. they’d just be fine.
Never have I been told I was loved.
Never have I been told I mattered.
I’ve been thrown abused and battered.
I have scars and I have cuts.
I have strength but not enough.
I walk like a ghost among the alive.
I’m a fighter. Cause’ I survive.
I’ve never tried to escape.
But I have the rope.
I have the height.
I have the gun.
I have the blade.
I can’t be saved.

I’m dissapearing.
I am a shadow.

I was listening to this “urban” radio station in the morning and they were talking about cutting and how it is a white problem and how “only white people do it” Is this true? can anybody please let me know?Ive done a little research on the internet and i only come across pics of white people with cut arms (my apologies if i offended anybody and i am not a racist)

I feel that I am a waste of space, I don’t fit in with everyone else around me. I feel that I don’t deserve to be alive. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I’m sure nobody would notice that I’m gone.

I am living a lie…. My whole life is a lie. I have told my family that I have the first position in school which I had but then I lost it now I am third and could tell them , they still think I am first, I went on an annual olympiad but I failed that too. I am a failure, my family really hates me that’s the only reason I couldn’t tell them I lost my position… And everytime I remember these and everything else I cut.. But nowi realized that I have no more skin to cut….. I am a mess.. I […]

He told me he likes me, asks me out then writes a status saying “like if I have a chance with you” 30 seconds after I say yes to dating him.
I ask him to be in a relationship with me on facebook and he says no…
Then he rings me while he’s at a girls house and she’s putting makeup on him..
I told him I have trust issues and I have bad bipolar and he gets upset when I’m on the phone not being my “natural self”..
Hello Beau, you’re at another girls house right now, you won’t be in a relatonship […]

Just tried, and the razor was too blunt.

Fuck the world, seriously. It’s like the Universe has something against me.

i’m in class right now, thinking about skipping next period. My phone is my only lifelline and they have detectors in our school so I can’t bring my razors. ahhh math classs. SO FUN!

Today i felt indifferent, as always.

I didn’t feel anything, until someone on my Facebook posted a picture of people who had cut their arms with blood pouring out making fun of the Justin Bieber thing.

Just seeing those images made me feel like cutting. All day i have been thinking about them and was distracting myself with other things.

But now i just can’t stop thinking about them and imagining myself doing it.

I’m becoming depressed and all my brain is telling me to do is “Cut, you will feel better….”

I probably won’t feel any better but it looks like i’ll cut anyway.

Fuck this.

Just because I’m young, doesn’t mean my feelings are any less valid than someone 10 years older.  I am not attention seeking, I am seeking help and maybe a little comfort.

Just because I have scars on my wrist, doesn’t mean I want everyone to see them.  On the contrary I hide them as best as I can with long sleeves, bracelets and material wrapped round my wrist.

The #cutforbieber hashtag on Twitter last night made me realize who, out of my friends, I need to be cautious around with someone posting  “Self harmers and suicidal dicks annoy me. They are nothing but attention seeks C***s that […]

Look this sounds shit but because I feel so bad because of things I’ve done…. I have been cutting and scratching words into my arm. It’s not deep and it’s not very clear and I try to keep the scars and the words covered up but it kills… so here’s the poem explaining why I do it…

 

DON’T JUDGE…. CUTTING HELPS!! – By MissCMF

 

At the moment I don’t feel like I want to talk to any living soul

I feel like I’m slowly falling, down a bottomless hole

So I guess it’s better to leave me alone

As if I had my […]