General

It’s a new year but I can tell its not going to be any better. It’s always been hard for me to fit in, it started on second grade. Stupid little girl made fun of me and did everything on her power to bring me down. Before the year was over I moved to another state but my self esteem was down enough to be made fun of constantly. It didnt help that my mom didnt make much money so i wore clothes from a thrift store.third grade new school new bullies ya I was really young but everyone hated me. By middle school we […]

Q: What was the worst mistake you’ve ever made?

A: Letting myself open my eyes this morning.

Well. Here I am, one year later, about to turn 14 on February.

If you’re wondering when, how and why the hoot I got her, my last post is here. http://suicideproject.org/2012/05/i-need-help-13/

Anyways, that aside, I thought I’d come here again, except this time, I have a few different reasons. (WARNING: Long post)

Last year, I was very antisocial, and I had almost no friends without counting the people I knew online, and I was very depressed. It hasn’t changed.

I’d been in the furry subculture since before I posted here last time. As you can imagine, I found the perverted side of the fandom very easily and almost as soon […]

So I’ve decided and now I’m finally at peace. It’s the only thing which actually makes the inner-turmoil stop. On my 25th birthday, I’m going to kill myself. I’ve always thought that my birthday would be a good day, mostly because when I see people’s headstones or dates of death, I always try and figure out how old they were. If you die on your birthday, you make it so much easier for people to do that,
This year is supposed to be a new year, new beginnings, etc but just because we add another digit to the year, doesn’t mean anything has changed or […]

new year, new start, more tears and broken hearts.more scars appear on my arm.

words,words, thats all they are of course i’m silly they can’t do harm
words, words, they feel like bricks
to the point I can’t take it.
you told me words were lies that words were just a trick, to you words were evil, and mostly shit. You say words.
and they are meaningless.

I’m done with this.
you, them, all of it.
I’m not listening! lalala! you speak words! blah blah blah! shut up, I dont care,
your game I play it’s not fair.
I’m leaving moving on.
Have fun […]

an update of my decisions, so at one time I can read my thoughts again..

this will be a funny text I think, with a lot of changing my mind:)

this is not a New years decision, it’s been in my head for a while. so, here it is, I have to live somehow for the sake of my parents, I can’t be selfish enough to kill myself while they’re thinking I am a young perspective person with a bright future ahead. I can’t put my ideas before their love, not right now when it’s not unbearable to live, but if it gets harder I might have […]

This is my secret account.

No one will ever know who I am and that brings a lot of comfort to me. No one would expect this  from me. I’m very obviously happy, but no one sees beyond my smile. My insides hurt. Please care. Please take the time to hear my story.

I’m screaming for a helping hand.

Sorry, I thought that would be allowed.

For years of my life, I have put a smile on my face and told myself that I’m happy. A few months ago I got used by a boy that I thought I truly loved and foolishly believed he loved me too. Truth is he cheated with one of my best friends and a few weeks later had a girlfriend. I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I get called a fat slut, whore, slag all the time. At first I just thought people were joking and it didn’t hurt me. But people never stop. I am so alone. I can’t tell family or […]

Brand new here – hope my email address doesn’t show here. Does it anyone?

To fellow readers,
I know I have not updated my account in a while and I have no real excuse for that. I thought it would be nice to write my goodbyes as I will be dead by the weekend. It has been an interesting year for me and it has shown me that my time is up. Sorry for my language-
Life is fucking pointless. If we all die the world would still be spinning around like […]

I have been hurting for a long time now. the emotional pain that i feel  makes me feel like i have been hit in the stomach by a car. My boyfriend kicked me out of his house the day after christmas, leaving me homeless, penniless and i had to leave my pet behind and i know hes not capable of looking after her properly. My heart has broken for the future ive lost and my little kitten. I am numb all i can do is cry. I pretend to be okay, last night i went out and as new year struck, i looked around at […]

Does anyone care:/
Bulls in the bronx- Pierce the veil

Funny, I came on here to post about how I felt.  But I read the comments/posts from some of the younger people here and I needed first to reach out to one of them and say ‘don’t give up’.  But I think it makes a difference with age.  When you are young, you have choices, hope – the older you get, the less choices you have.

Where to begin without boring everyone?  If I’m going to be sad and depressing the least I can do is to try and amuse you all with this trite, common, boring tale.  Alas…I will fail at that.

Okay – 52, soon […]