I’m always here to listen to anyone who needs to vent/talk.

chubbypandahelps@gmail.com

it all started about 8 months ago, recently I had noticed that things got to me alot and they got to me pretty easy. One day, my family were putting me down and they always would compare me to other people, this made me want to just cry. My family relatives would either not notice me or they would just ignore me, they always got annoyed at me if I didn’t socialise with my family but when I tried I got nothing back they would say they were “disappointed” in me and not really care. I was sitting in the bath and as I looked […]

I think this is one of the most important unanswered philosophical questions at this time. Are you right now and you in a minute from now identical, apart from whatever experiences you may have made in this minute? (A) Is there something which identifies you as a distinct human being which is preserved over time?

You could for example imagine a duplication machine which copies every particle and all of it’s properties of an object and creates a new object with these particles which will be identical to the first object. (Let’s just assume this were scientifically possible (B) – which we don’t know of course […]

I’m just wondering if anyone has ever had any success in getting this , via mail or over the border etc. if this post isn’t allowed you can delete it , but I want to go out a foolproof way , I don’t want to end up a vegetable or a dribbling mess. If I can’t even kill myself properly , even that is more depressing than the life I have now.

As I talked about in my earlier post, last week I had my audition for the musical.  Well yesterday morning I went to my school, despite not having to, and found out which role I got.  I didn’t get a lead role again this year…  I’m an ancestor.  The only good thing is there are two types of ancestors, one with names and a group without.  I’m lucky enough to have a name but…  I’m just so upset that I won’t be able to do the meet and greet this year.  Not once was I able to have a lead role.  Not once will I […]

The love of my life left me six weeks ago. We have been together 7 years, have been best friends for 12 years, and we have 2 daughters. She is my world, my everything. I’ve invested my entire heart and soul into her. I gave up every dream I had to be with her. She was that much to me. When we got together, our love transcended time. Romeo and Juliet was a farce in comparison to us. Our souls were connected, we loved beyond measure. At least that was what I believed. You see, I have always been depressed. I’ve lived with depression and […]

maybe i feel much more of a purpose, ive gone my whole life be selfish, no im more alone then i ever was, even during my past depression. I have anxitey, last night it leaked in to my dreams, as i shook the fetal postion for a drop of compassion. maybe i just hope someone would help me, i put on a ever so happy front, when this depression stuck so down deep, i wish someone would help me, show me

u all have become my friends here. i just want to say thank you. i am trying to get help, but i fear i may do something drastic before then. know that i gave life my all friends. i hope my girlfriend and son understand one day. im trying to get help, but i fear its too late.

All of us suicidal people, do we really want to die? Or is it something else? What exactly is it that we need?  Because each day that drifts away I understand my feelings less and less.

Feeling djhvfbisjdfh,
PURPLEPAIN

I went to the roof of my five storey building. I stood on the ledge. I wonder if that is enough. I don’t want to wake up in the hospital.

I do care. I do. I care so much I go all in, surrender every ounce of being to them.

They never do. They don’t care.

And I’m tired. Tired of being the only ones who pulls all the weight around here.

You know of the Cat in the Hat?
I killed him with a baseball bat,
Now he’s buried in Erolave,
Where I danced a jig on his grave!

After I stole away Thing Two,
And dyed its hair bright pink, not blue,
Thing One looked on starting to cry,
The bottle was dry: No more dye!

The trees are gone, last seed rotted
Years have passed-nothings been spotted,
I burnt the trees to watch the smoke,
Guess the Lorax can’t take a joke?

As for Christmas I stole it first,
The Grinch so mad about to burst,
Still I couldn’t give Christmas back,
So I stuffed the Grinch […]

It has been awhile since I thought about something remotely close to the end of my life cycle, but I don’t think I can see that far ahead.  I doubt anyone can, unless, of course, one is terminally ill and the end is really nigh.  In fact, things in my life have been so randomly confusing or misleading, that sometimes, it feels better to keep my eyes closed; to look inward beyond the void of nothingness; to find a piece of serenity through meditation; to feel the weightlessness of sleep only to wake up in what appears to be a dream.  Sometimes, I wake up […]

Does heaven have a phone number?
Mommy went to heaven,
but I need her here today.
My tummy hurts and I fell down;
I need her right away.
Operator, can you tell me
how to find her in this book?
Is heaven in the yellow part?
I don’t know where to look.
I think my daddy needs her too,
at night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes,
but I really don’t know why.
Maybe if I call her,
she will hurry home to me.
Is heaven very far away?
Is it across the sea?
She’s been gone a long, long […]