Where to start. I have had depression and Anxiety now for three years. It got worse when i found out that i have anger problems and OCD. It was really hard to accept that fact that i was depressed and that’s when i started cutting. i stopped for awhile in 2011 but ever since then i have been cutting. It all started in 2010 when my grandma passed away and i got made fun of for it and said that i should have died instead of her. Having everyone against me and no one there for me hurt so much. I started to have panic […]
I was born with a loving, caring, and forgiving family. To most people, that’s a blessing. But to me, it only makes it harder for me to make them pleased, or even tolerant of anything. It only makes my life worse. I already hate me, so does everyone else, so my own family were like the only people who I could trust at all, and now they are like people I never even knew. It just sickens me to see what I have done to these great people, and what I can do to all those with a pure heart, unlike mine.
I thought someone should know, in case I don’t wake up or something because I know that is a possibility. Fuck.
I posted on here a few weeks ago about deciding to finally end it all and take my own life. I finished writing my letters last night and I feel like a completely different person! I feel lighter and happy, borderline giddy, like some silly little school girl who has a crush on the popular boy. I’m going tomorrow to buy my helium tanks, as well as the rest of the supplies I am going to need. I’ve decided to use two 14.9 cubic feet tanks from the party store and join them with a t-junction. I’m not using a flow regulator because I don’t […]
no matter what I do…I’ll never be good enough 🙁
Of any of it? We go to school for the first 1/4 of our lives, study and spend thousands of dollars out our asses, only to (generally) end up in some job that doesn’t even relate to our degree – if we even end up getting them!
We work for the majority of what’s left of our lives, assuming we live to the expected age of 80 or so, and then we spend the remainder of our days whiling away our time waiting to die anyway…
why not skip out all the bullshit and go ahead with it? We already know how the ending turns out anyway. […]
… the whole our village had problems with electricity . But now I’m here … and connected .. :p
So where were the spiders?
While the fly tried to break our balls.
Just the beer lights to guide us.
So we bitched about his fans and should we crush his sweet hands?
Ziggy played for time,
Jiving us that we were voodoo
The kids were just crass,
He was the Naz
With god given ass.
He took it all to far,
But boy could he play guitar!!
It’s not sadness I feel. I don’t even feel anger, nor do I feel numb. I feel empty. I am devoid of a soul.
The Jews say a soul is what makes us special. It is what separates us from the lifeless tools we use. I feel like God forgot to put my soul in me when he made me, leaving me a tool to be used. I feel like the Golem when he no longer had a purpose.
I don’t often think about myself in the terms of Jewish faith. My father is Jewish, not I. It’s the only way I can describe it though. […]
Lord, please me get through the night!
wish i cud simply pull out a plug and the whole of my system would go into a deep,uninterrupted slumber from which i would never wake up…
i also feel like punishing myself for being so useless… feel like inflicting pain to numb the feeling of helplessness… i did hit myself on the head and now i have a pounding headache but that doesn’t seem enough…
i don’t know what to do… i don’t know if anything would ever work….
Hi.
I’m Katie, and I want to tell my story.
I was born into a pretty good family, with a dad and mom that loved each other and all that good stuff. When I was 5 though, they got a divorce, but the reason was good as a reason could be for divorce. My mom remarried to a man who sexually abused both of us until the day he decided to try to kill us. That was the day he went to jail. That was also the day where I started on this long journey of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (I have been diagnosed by a professional). I have flashbacks […]
Just realized I haven’t eaten for almost two days. Hopefully this isn’t something else I need to worry about. I’m already afraid of becoming an alcoholic because I enjoy getting very VERY wasted
I’m severely depressed
and have epilepsy
not a good combo.
I tried to kill myself 9 times in my 15 1/2 years of life
I reached the edge once
I could see a light
my life was flashing before my eyes
then when it was to late
I realized I didn’t want to die.
I realized I shouldn’t have drunken that paint thinner.
It’s amazing that I’m alive.
I still have my occasional thoughts
then I remember
for every bad thing
it seems like something good followed.
My criminal law professor asked. Most of my classmates were silent, while the two or three debaters exploded at each other over that question.
Their voices were tuned out as I pondered this predicament; what would it be like to be murdered? I have been raped before, and I know of the pain that comes along with it, externally and internally. But to be free from this hell by someone else’s hand? Would that be a viable option?
My family would have someone to direct their blame, instead of blaming themselves for my death. The murderer would have gotten their frustration out, and I would be free […]
I thought I knew what I was going to do in life, but now I don’t really know anymore. All my life has been laid out by my parents long before I knew what I wanted. I’m so close to giving up, and I don’t know what is keeping here. Trying to be the best all the time has gotten tiring, and I just don’t care about anything anymore. The only reason I’m here is because I’m scared of what happens it I don’t succeed. All of this seems so pointless and I just want to give up …..
well before people were domesticated, before “civilization” people generally did not live far past their 30’s… In fact you’re 30’s were considered you’re senior yrs….
Maybe this was nature’s way of mercy killing, rather than be drug on to live through misery and you’re body breaking down, once it got to the age where you couldn’t enjoy the things you grew up doing anymore, nature decided to perhaps have a heart and let you go.
These days I hear older people constantly lying to themselves that “things aren’t that bad” just to cope with it. For some maybe it’s not, but for many it is that bad. […]
I think I have what I call fat girl syndrome. I used to weigh in at 260lbs almost all my teenage life. I was well liked and respected because I was so big (not to mention small town life) it never bothered me to be fat. One day when I was 19 I decided i’d give the skinnier life a try… I quit eating, (which I found myself falling asleep behind the wheel) so I ate more. I walked, didn’t eat past 5pm (keep in mind I lived at home and was not pressured to get a job.) In one years time I lost over […]