I don’t know if this website is for this type of comment but I’m going to post it anyway just to empty my head. I have seriously been pondering suicide for the past few weeks (again) and have gotten down to a few ways to do so. My dilemma is my precious dog, who is my companion and that I love more than anything. He is so very dependent on me that he will not leave my side for any reason. My problem is what will become of him if I leave this ugly world? I don’t know anyone who would give him the love […]
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Awake At Night
As much as I push people away, it might not seem like it but one of the things I hate the most is being alone. I hate the constant silence and the asphyxiated feeling of being on my own with my thoughts. I have to contemplate everything all by myself.Â
There is nothing to distract me, no one to provide answers. I often lie awake at night repeating the words, “I’m scared” over and over in my head. It’s not like the fear that comes from watching a horror movie. It’s the fear of knowing that I will always be this way. I can never escape […]