If you were to die out there in the battlefield…I would want you to know how I feel about you before you go…4 years is a long time and it could be longer…You were, are my hope…And kept me moving even when I felt I couldn’t go on anymore. “I may never walk again but I’ll be fine crawling…” “You won’t crawl forever! You will walk again!” Will I be able to walk once your gone?…I keep crying…tears rolling down my check! I don’t want you to leave…But, I have let you go in the past but of course that was only for a week […]
Tag:
Battlefield
It’s the loss of control
No, it isn’t giving up your motor functions. You can move, you can talk and you can open and close your eyes; but open eyes see a hostile world that tolerates its own crumbling demise, but not yours, and closed eyes see the slanted razor you most certainly think will take the pain away. Move, if you wish, but wherever your legs carry you, your shame and guilt, your self condemnation will follow at your heels, eating away at your resolve and desire. Speak, my friend. Speak, but only what they want, because anything but is a pretension of higher knowledge […]
I am 17 years old and have been depressed for a few years now, suicidal for about a year at least… I keep reading things online about how depression is only going to get better, but in my case it keeps getting worse. My health continues to spiral downwards and make me feel like a complete invalid.
A few months ago I believe I posted another story here regarding the reasoning’s behind my depression and since then it has become much worse. The thought of suicide has become an idea that is able to make me feel at peace.
My whole life has been a battlefield between […]
I’m the type of girl to put on an act to keep the world off my back. Even when I’m trying to push them away, I actually just want someone to stop me and tell me I don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m the girl who sits in her room crying, thinking back to the past and wondering how I ever made it this far.
Everyday I go to school and pretend to be that happy girl you’ll find in every class. Everyone buys my act and they think I’m happy, that nothings wrong, but they’re all wrong.
There will never be a time where I’ve never […]
My whole life has been a battlefield. It’s just I am not like most people I know. Maybe I am way too sensitive for the kind of world I live in. I hate the ethics of how the world works, or possibly the lack of. Anytime I get out of my house I look around me  and think “Why do people choose to be bad?”… Yes, many people are simply bad people or just confused. Maybe if we had the answers to life after death, then maybe the world would work in unison, but obviously we’ll never know until we face death. Now I have […]
For the past 2 years, I’m 14 by the way, I’ve been dealing with depression. Major depression. I remember even when I was 12, when everything started- there would be voices in my head that called me so many things that it would be impossible to get them out. Even with counseling, no matter what I poured out it was never enough. There was this big empty gap in my soul and every second, every minute, and every hour of my life it would just keep getting bigger. Last year, I found myself completely gone. I went hysteric and I tried to commit suicide. The […]