So of course just like the rest of us on this site i’m pretty suicidal. and by pretty i mean really suicidal. so naturally when i found a girl that makes me happy it was like god had decided to let up a little bit. a few months go by and all is well until recently. things are falling apart and im freaking out because without her i know i’ll try something again. i cant let the tiny bit of happiness ive found get away from me. And yet she causes me so much pain too… and her knowing about my depression is hurting her […]
Tag:
Bit Of Happiness
I’m no longer myself anymore. I’ve morphed into something so beautiful, yet so fragile. Like a butterfly. I started off as a small egg. Then I was hatched, brought into a world where there were larger things than I. Things that were sure to destroy me. I was pummeled and shown horrors no little caterpillar should. All the while I spent my time absorbing and eating up the words that were viciously thrown at me. I chose to listen. I guess eventually the little caterpillar me had had enough,so I formed walls around me. I was to stay there forever. Safe, and warm, and perfectly […]
My hate for you runs deep
but it wasn’t always this way
You made me smile, laugh and forget about the crap that goes on around me,
but now you are merely a contributor to my pain.
I’ve learned to accept you for you and I’ve always looked beyond your appearance
but you would never give a second thought about how I feel.
This is my moment to be selfish, my moment to drown in my self pity
because all this time I have tried to make things better for you. My friend.
I hate that you use me as the butt of your jokes to gain laughs from people who will never […]
Just as everything seems to get better, something comes and ruins that little bit of happiness that was finally there. That something is usually feelings either brought up from a comment another person makes or because it just develops in ourselves. It sucks, especially when we were finally happy. Sometimes I guess what we just aren’t meant to be happy.
I am finished with my life and i will finish it this time. I have written my goodbye letters and have arranged everything so that i will finaly be able to leave this world.
All that is left is to apologise to the people on this site who i have promised to keep on trying, but have instead let them down. Also i want to say thank you to all the lovely people who have commented on my post with caring comments. Because of you guys i can at least leave this world with a tiny bit of happiness. You guys have given me […]