My hate for you runs deep
but it wasn’t always this way
You made me smile, laugh and forget about the crap that goes on around me,
but now you are merely a contributor to my pain.
I’ve learned to accept you for you and I’ve always looked beyond your appearance
but you would never give a second thought about how I feel.
This is my moment to be selfish, my moment to drown in my self pity
because all this time I have tried to make things better for you. My friend.
I hate that you use me as the butt of your jokes to gain laughs from people who will never be there for you
I hate how you make me feel
I hate how you judge every little thing I do wrong
when youÂ have clearly done some fucked up shit yourself.
I hate that you take a dump on the little bit of happiness I hold onto so that I don’t go insane
I hate the fact that you make me hate me
I hate it that you’re hurting and I can’t do anything to help
all I can do is take your shit and go with it
I hate how you’ve turned the people I love against me
I hate the fact that you you are making me write this
I hate that you have turned my heart to stone and filled it with hate
I hate that you don’t allow me to be myself
I have to conform with what society wants and what YOU want
But most of all I hate that you made me hate you!
I hate that you let this person live in your head … rent free
This person contributes to your pain – because YOU allow it.
time to take care of yourself FIRST – for if you do not, you cannot make anything better for anyone else
This person who uses you as the butt of jokes – can only do so if you’re there to be used and allow it – choose not to be there
You hate how this person makes you feel – feel for yourself – if this person has so little regard for your feelings, why have any for theirs? People will readily move away from a fire so as not to get burned … you’re getting burned – time to move
You hate how you are judged by this person – yet YOU remain in a position to be judged – God judges (if you believe in that sort of thing) – people have opinions – but we can disregard those opinions if WE choose
You hate that this person takes a dump on the little bit of happiness you hold onto – there’s no requirement that you must trade your happiness to wallow with someone who does NOT choose to be happy – your happiness is YOURS
You hate the fact that this person makes you hate you – nope – you chose to hate yourself – no one can “make” you do that – stop it – just stop it
You hate it that this person is hurting and you canâ€™t do anything to help all you can do is take their shit and go with it – NOPE – you can offer to help – if they reject it, they’re on their own
You hate how this person has turned the people you love against you – Nope – you did that by adopting their misery and letting that person control you – reject the misery, be yourself, get your loved ones back
You hate the fact that this person is making you write this – Nope – you are writing it – your fingers, your keyboard, your words, your thoughts – you control these things – you can choose to change the thoughts, feelings and beliefs and thus change the story you write
You hate that this person has turned your heart to stone and filled it with hate – Nope – you allowed it to happen, and it’s your heart to turn into whatever you choose – stop letting this person dictate how you should feel – you have the power and control to reverse this
You hate that this person doesn’t allow you to be yourself – Nope – it’s you who is not “allowing” you to be yourself – instead you are trying to be something someone else wants – at any time you can “be yourself”
You have to conform with what society wants and what This Person wants – Nope – society only demands you live within the law – otherwise it really doesn’t care what you choose to do … but YOU are choosing to be what this person wants – clearly that ain’t working out to well … time to “conform” to what YOU want – and if this person don’t like it … leave them to wallow in their own shit
But most of all You hate that this person made you hate that person! – Nope – that person just showed you their true self – at any time you can walk away and leave them to stew in their own hateful misery and go be happy, warm and loving
… hate is an ACTION – it requires time and energy – when you are busy executing the negative act of HATE … you cannot be doing positive things like love and happiness … do what makes YOU happy, all others can go fuck themselves – don’t waste another moment letting them control your thoughts, feelings and actions …