once again ive broken to pieces. how pathetic is that? im not suppose to break down. what the hell am i suppose to do? i just want to crawl into a dark hole away from everybody and just stay there. can i do that? no i cant. everytime i hide away i get dragged out and forced to face the fact that my life sucks. yea, sure there are plenty of things i can do to make it better, but it just seems pointless. everytime i try to do something that i want to do or that i think would be fun i get wierd […]
Tag:
Career Choice
First of all, I want to preface this post by saying that, while my problem may not come close to some of the situations you might face each day, the emotional distress, uselessness and inadequacy I feel is just as intense.
I go to a private school, where the tuition is more than many colleges. Everyone at my school is going to become a doctor or a lawyer or a fundamental physicist. I don’t want to be any of these. All i want to do is teach elementary school. Â If that means that i can’t drive an audi or mercedes like my parents, thats fine. Everyday […]
I wish I had killed myself when I was 16. It’s been 20 years of regret. Diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, PMDD, traits of OCD, and a horrible eating disorder which has ruined my life. At age 36, I’m living a life I never wanted. I thought I’d be married by now, own property, and enjoy a prosperous career. None of which has happened. I made a horrible career choice by becoming a teacher, and have hated myself for it for the past 11years. I fake it at work. Put on that professional face. The truth is, I hate every aspect of […]
I’m never going to be worth anything. Why? Because I try so damn hard to be myself, but apparently that person is already taken.
It’s been like this my whole life. I wanted SO bad to be a horse vet, then a year later, my older sister declares horse vet as her career choice. All anyone talked about what how perfect it was for her. She’s SO good with animals.
I want to visit Ireland and Wales, where my ancestors came from, but NO. Coincidentally, my sister is getting an opportunity to go. I’ve wanted to go since middle school.
I want to work with animals for a […]