I was scared .. I am scared. Everyone needs saving, even I do. I need it but I don’t want it. I don’t want the cliched lecture that things will get better or the sympathetic conversation that reveals your place in our relationship that you’re there for me. Â I don’t want empty words to stall my decisions or help me to even consider changing my mind. I think about it all the time. I have set myself to learn to be content with death. I think of where my soul might go .. drifting through the darkness and blackness of empty space that seems to […]
Tag:
Changing My Mind
Ever heard that song about teddy bears in the woods having a picnic…?
‘If you go out in the woods today, You’re sure of a big surprise, If you go out into the woods today, You’d better go in disguise’.
I have no idea what that song has to do with this post or even my thoughts, but the song came into my head yesterday evening and has buzzing through my head like a constant bird’s song. And for the minority of the majority of you that are wondering whether or not i still want to kill myself, the answer is yes, i do.
Fuck.
I really want to […]
I’m just wondering if maybe anybody else has considered this.
I don’t want to end my life right now. But there was a time when I did. Twice, I came very close. I knew how I was going to do it both times. Neither time did I actually recall changing my mind, but instead realized at some point I’d decided not to. That was three years ago now, and I have not since come so close. But I’ve thought about it.
So here’s what I think-
Once you’ve thought about killing yourself (and I mean really thought about it, like planned it out and made […]