So I wrote a post, actually my first post on this site entitled “Wasted Life”. It was pretty much about the story of me and my ex-girlfriend and the effect its had on my life for the last twenty years. It was a story that I felt I needed to share with somebody…anybody to show the extent that one person can have on your life when you focus all your love on them and no one else. I received some good comments from others on there when I posted it, and today I received a few other comments, which surprised me since I didn’t think […]
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Diana
Well everybody has a story to tell, and I feel like I should probably put mine out there somewhere, if for nothing more than prosperity’s sake.
I guess my real story starts at age fifteen. I was a sophomore in high school. I never really had many friends, only one or two that I would call friends, and I never really had a girlfriend, even though I was always told by the girls that I was good looking, I guess my personality just wasn’t what they wanted as I tended to be quiet, and introverted. One day I found myself sitting next to a pretty girl […]
I’ve never let anyone in close enough to see the ugliness inside. Last summer, my dad came the closest after some emotional emails I’d sent him. He drove the 6 hours to my city and spent the week taking me out to dinner and talking, trying to figure out what was wrong. But I burned him like I’ve done everyone else.
I burned my grandmother when I told her to stop talking to me. I burned my co-workers when I took up the vow of silence at the office. I burned my father by never replying to any of his follow up emails after we had […]
To be a candle, with a wick almost burned down, the wax melted so far down there is no relighting it- that’s how I see every person’s existence- as a candle with varying amounts of “wax” left, keeping them burning. Elton John was brilliant for using this when Diana perished, what seems like eons ago.
I am not being dramatic when I say I want to die. I want to end my life. I’ve lived for nearly 3 decades now, each decade worse than the last. My first decade and most of my second had me tied into an impoverished family whose only abundance in life […]
But I’d love to run away with Diana. Me, diana, her kids, swiss farm with acres of private land.. I’d be happy more often than sad were I in that situation.
You asked me once if my wounds healed.
They do, but only on the outside. I wonder if you’ve realized that on your own. I can’t find it in me to tell you that, and i don’t know why.
I would like them to, really. I want to stop…but i can’t do it on my own. I guess it’s because i’m such a weakling, huh?