The author’s son, Michael, took his own life in 1969 at the age of 26, after a nearly decade-long struggle with some vaguely defined mental illness. Some of his psychiatrists (referred to not by name but by the appellation “Dr. First” “Dr. Second” “Dr. Third” etc. — there were eight), called it schizophrenia. It looks more like schizoaffective disorder or bipolar to me, but who knows. The point is, in spite of various different […]
Different Kinds
Married mother of two with the nice house, white plastic fence, and a dog. I was sexually,mentally, and verbally abused most of my childhood and emotionally abused throughout my pregnancies. I’ve been broken way too many times and the thoughts of everything that happened to me won’t stop haunting me. I tried to kill myself a few months ago with liquor and 90 flexeril, I counted every single one I sadly didn’t succeed. I’m trying the whole happy pill and therapy crap, I’ve been on four different kinds of pills and I get seen four times a month and I just feel sad and […]
I did not, you see, want to kill myself. Not at that time, anyway. But I wanted to know that if need be, if the desperation got so terribly bad, I could inflict harm on my body. And I could. Knowing this gave me a sense of peace and power, so I started cutting up my legs all the time. Hiding the scars from my mother became a sport of its own. I collected razor blades, I bought a Swiss army knife, I became fascinated with the different kinds of sharp edges and the different cutting sensations they produced. I tried out different shapes—squares, triangles, […]
….is what “many” of you are here ….
This has been my brief, but overhwelming experience. I raise my hat off to you …you’re doing well for others, but never forget to do well for yourself too ….
Resilience means to stand up to challenges, because everyone has them in life just different kinds.
If our waking day is made up of 18 hours, be careful what and where you focus the majority of your day. Do not let others poison your mind with their lesser thoughts, but also do not poison your mind (& body) with your own. You are stronger to resist then you think. […]