I’ve lost a job I loved. And I need to to pay this month’s rent and the next and etc. And I can’t fathom any of this because before all of this I was the suicidal girl and that never changed, though the circumstances that effected my life did. But how can I begin to start again when all I want more than anything is death? I have interests, but the only driving force that really exists within me is anything that gets me closer to death. This is my secret that I can’t tell anyone. Until my eventual suicide says it all.
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