i feel like shit, it feels like i am only myself when i am like this: suicidal, depressed, angry , and what more. Its like i am half awake when i am ”acting” happy in front of others. i can’t really explain it, lately i have been thinking about something to cause me a lot of pain. i need hurt to feel alive, but i find myself doing nothing but praying for pain. i am weird , i really am, there is something wrong with me. i ”bully” myself a lot less when i am already in pain, and i also mean terrible situations. […]
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