Tag:

everything

I Hate The White

by Roars Kilde 10/20/2014

written by Roars Kilde

Why did they choose white.
I can’t even sit in a new, freshly “neutral” white painted. apartment for 5 minutes, without the greatest feeling of discomfort anymore.
Hospitals, Institutions, Doctors, Lights, all rooms and hallways, even the freaking beds and gowns and the stupid little wristbands…

Waking up, and the first thing you see is that awful white ceiling, blinking your eyes just to make sure it’s real, because it’s not the ceiling you saw when you closed your eyes. A slight panic might creep up, how can that be?, “where am I?”
Turning your head around, just to pan over more of the white, walls, […]

10/20/2014 4 comments

I Think I’m Ready…

by reallyfuckingdepressed 10/20/2014

written by reallyfuckingdepressed

I’ve contemplated suicide for most of my life. In fact, I recall my first memory of considering killing myself at the age of 9. I’m in my early 20s now attending university and in the time that has passed I still question why I didn’t end it all those years ago.

I never am “good enough.” No matter what I do or how well I do it, I am never complacent. Which leaves me constantly feelings disappointed and worthless. After years of these emotions, inflamed by periods of depression and social anxiety I feel I’m ready to end it. End everything. The sadness. […]

10/20/2014 2 comments

Hi and bye

by monsterly 10/20/2014

written by monsterly

This is my last post, if everything goes well (or horribly wrong, depends on how you see it I guess).

I’m gonna end things this week since some events happened that made me realize the more I prolong things, the worse it’s for me and everyone around me who have to deal with my sorry ass.

I haven’t told anyone but I felt I should just post a little something here. I don’t know.

Anyway. I hope you all the best, whatever the best means for you.
Goodbye

10/20/2014 9 comments

I just… do. not. know.

by thefirstcriggs 10/20/2014

written by thefirstcriggs

I’m 30 now and have a family. I have a wife, a son, a house (rented), a car, a job. I still remember the very first time I wished I was dead. And I’m exhausted because 20 years later, not a day goes by when I don’t still feel like that. Sometimes it will just be a fleeting thought and sometimes it will be an entire day of wrestling with my own psyche to overpower those feelings.

I remember having those ‘wish I’d never been born’ feelings. I was about 10. I was bullied. At home, at school, in the street. I guess I was always […]

10/20/2014 1 comment

The girl who once was.

by Niyaku 10/20/2014

written by Niyaku

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There was this girl who was once happy and glad,

She had everything going for her,

Then thats when it happened,

Now she just sits at home,

Paying no heed to her friends and family,

She thought she was hiding it well,

But everyone knew her hell,

Every night she fell asleep with tears in her eyes and blood dripping down her arms.

She once had everything going for her,

Then it happened,

She could no longer feel the love,

Or the joy,

That was always surrounding her,

She only knew the pain,

And sorrow,

That is in her,

She never smiles,

Never laughs,

Not […]

10/20/2014 3 comments

Only 12 more days

by greyrainbow 10/19/2014

written by greyrainbow

I am done. Tired. I’ve tried DBT. I’ve tried & i’m tired. I love Scott!! I can’t tell him that though. I dream about him & wish he was in my life, other than being my therapist who I can’t & cannot appease. So, I’ve decided that death will finally take me, as I’ve always felt it would. You see, I have no friends. I can’t & don’t keep them. This world sucks!!! All you see is hate & killing. People who think they are owed, who don’t shoot for the moon themselves. They just want everything handed to them. So, my Suicide is planned […]

10/19/2014 2 comments

by DaniColor 10/19/2014

written by DaniColor

Hello sweet strangers, I have been suffering from severe depression and bipolar disorder. I have not been diagnosed of it but it’s very obvious to me.

I used to be engaged about 2 months ago. My life revolved around him and he was my world like any other women who is about to get married no?
I go to college and I am not the smartest nor the best student. I have no source of income really because my scholarship helps me pay for college. My parents can’t even pay to go to the doctor and I do not want to give them more burdens than they […]

10/19/2014 3 comments

Welcome to my fawking rant.

by Alex 10/19/2014

written by Alex

Ahem. *clears throat* Awkward. TnT Fuck. Anxiety. Let’s see. Lost 3 friends to suicide. 1 had recently attempted. Idk. I used to have a whole group of friends. Depression came by for a visit. Boom. Became distant and just closed myself up from everyone. Avoiding people all day at school unless I’m stuck with a partner. Realized no one gives a shit about me disappearing. Yep. *becomes air* Probably going to fail school because I’m skipping classes to avoid having anxiety attacks even though I still have them. Holy horseshit I’m probably sounding like some little shit right now. *face palms* How did I even […]

10/19/2014 3 comments

I help people but people cant help me

by gonna die 10/18/2014

written by gonna die

I stoped 2 friends too not suicide…. But no 1 will help me…. Everything i do is wrong…. Everything I touch is wrong…..everything I choose is wrong….. God wont help….. Men that likes men will burn in hell so even if i commit this act i still will go to hell burning forever

oh well my friend will no y i did it

becuase of him ???? oh well hope your problems are fixed not like mine

-brian mejia r.

10/18/2014 3 comments

I’m an attention seeker

by frozen_heart 10/18/2014

written by frozen_heart

Everyone hates the attention seekers. The ones who always say things to get others attention and pity. The ones who tell someone every inch of his or her personal, tragical and dramatic life just to get a reaction. Attention seekers disgust everyone. People are sick of them.

One thing I hate most about myself, is that I kind of am an attention seeker. I do things to get others pity without even noticing it. It’s like there’s two sides of me; a side who does everything possible to get attention, pity and all the things I wrote about earlier, and a side, who doesn’t want to […]

10/18/2014 5 comments

the last lizard in the universe

by nepal7777 10/18/2014

written by nepal7777

Why does no one go into a dangerous situation like climbing mt everest or one of those, just bring everything you’d need as far as food and water to get you as far as you could go and just start walking? Eventually you might reach the area of lower atmosphere whete you are happy and cant think straight, this would certainly be where you die, if you hadnt given up before then. What am i not seeing? Isnt this a viable suicidal venture? Please suggest and respond

10/18/2014 5 comments

Fuckkkkk

by gonna die 10/17/2014

written by gonna die

I think my friend just found out that i liked men but he is homophobic and he was my frien since 3ed grade im in 8th grade now fuck im going to suicide now everything is ruin hes a snitch i fucking dont care if i go to hell anymore im done byee untill i see a good reason to live

than bye

10/17/2014 8 comments

Can I go home yet

by Bisban 10/17/2014

written by Bisban

“539 Everlast”

Spectral I will never arrive
But will you for me if you saw me
Does it but would it matter
The way that I come
Only my backside facing to you
I only want to look up to the sky
I was a natural prodigy at hockey
Super-Man all the way
The fresh air and trees, take me
That is all that I want
To look up and stare at the moon
The stars in the sky that you are
The imagery, child in beautiful room
I love toys and everything

10/17/2014 0 comment

Save my soul.

by FlaviaV 10/17/2014

written by FlaviaV

How can I be alive if I’m barely breathing? I’m lying on the cold floor and trying to cry, but no tears are coming out. You’ve made me lose my mind. You broke my heart, drained my tears and destroyed my soul. For what? Is it that nice to hurt someone? To wreck a perfectly normal girl? Huh? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it help with your self esteem? Tell me, darling. Make me understand why you did this to me. It’s all I want. To know why. Then I can die in peace. I’m begging you. Tell me what I […]

10/17/2014 2 comments

My father murdered my mom I’m tired of living

by dana2c4me 10/17/2014

written by dana2c4me

Since I can remember at age 4 my father has physical abused my mother and about two years ago he disappeared her into a canal and took her life away he is now in jail and not ever coming out and my mom was found this summer to make the story short and well I’m here struggling with everything my little sister had to move in with me and I think my bf does not like her sometimes I think he does not like me either I have no friends I block everyone out of mylife I trust no one due to my life experiences […]

10/17/2014 2 comments

Faking.

by your_not_alone 10/16/2014

written by your_not_alone

I fake it all so well. Everyone thinks I’m this happy little girl with no worries and in reality it’s a mask. A mask to the pain and horror I go through. They don’t see that little girl they think is happy cry herself to sleep every night. They think nothing’s wrong with me. Little do they know I fake everything just so they don’t know I cut and cry and want to die every night.

10/16/2014 1 comment

I just don’t deserve to be happy

by mia87 10/16/2014

written by mia87

I don’t deserve to be happy, because I don’t have enough experience to connect with others in proper way, without neurotic symptoms. I have lived in my own world too long. I thought I have managed it because I have found friends on college, and had very strong relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years. But I was breaking the rules: I used to push my boundaries, I’ve used magical thinking when I didn’t have time or intelligence to do things right (like I’ll be funny girl, although I used to isolate myself in school, I’ll be good student although I was losing all my […]

10/16/2014 3 comments

I feel worthless.

by bigheadfoot 10/16/2014

written by bigheadfoot

So im 18, I know what everyone will say, you still have so much to live for. Well honestly I dont, my life is so fucking shit. Im seen as unattractive and stupid, I feel so alone all the time. I used to have confidence and talk to girls, but I got regected countless times. There is no one out there who actually appreciates me. So there was this one girl who I thought was perfect, we talked about everything. When somehow I managed to screw that up as well. Sucide is something ive comtemplated way to much for my age. If life doesn’t improve […]

10/16/2014 1 comment

I hate her

by MyNameIsAMonth 10/15/2014

written by MyNameIsAMonth

this girl says I’m the one…she says she loves me…I’m get soul mate. Before she came along I didn’t wanna live at all. She came to me and all I wanted to do was live and be with her. But she’s left me four times. She needs a break…again. I can’t do it anymore. I’m so stupid. I mest up with this. Now she’s gone and all I wanna do is die. I want someone or something to kill me. I love her so much and she says she loves me. I don’t understand why she keeps doing this. After everything ice done for her…she […]

10/15/2014 0 comment

really…..why….

by depressed_chick101 10/15/2014

written by depressed_chick101

ok…i know i havent posted in awhile….so the update……….. i moved back to my moms to only find out my exgf was alive and she went out with my best friend…….i loved her so much and she hurt me like that……my best friend thinks that deep down she still loves me but just doesnt want to admit it and i really just dont care anymore….i use to go out with this girl named stacie and she broke my heart….she was everything to me….i dont understand why it happens to me…..well lme and my exgf got to be friends and everything and stacie was like her […]

10/15/2014 0 comment

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