I’ve been dealing with this pain for so long… I’ve attempted so many times. I can’t take this anymore. it kills me. I’m afraid to make friends because they’ll all just leave me by death or turning against me. I’m so sick and tired of crying myself to sleep EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And feeling like a fucking mistake to my parents. Why was I born? My mom should have fucking got an abortion. I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE! IT’S TO FUCKING HARD! LET ME GO! PLEASE PLEASE LORD LET ME DIE! I can’t do this anymore. I’m ready to pull the damn trigger and […]
My original intention was to comment on someones post – suicide is not selfish. It is only viewed as selfish by those who are angry because you are nolonger there to be used & abused. That is how it will be for me.
In 1 week I will be homeless. I really feel like I should give up right now. Everything has fallen apart, but replacements are falling into place. My ‘best friend’ whom I live with has replaced me with one of her friends & her 2 little kids. I have lost my sister to the clutches of my mother, so I am no longer […]
Have you ever wanted someone to give you everything. You spent forever obssesing over it getting emotionally drained over what you need and not focusing on what you are given. I realized a little too soon… too late that even if he gave me what I wanted I still wouldn’t know what to do with it. Thats just logic. A WOMAN WHO ACTS LIKE A CHILD WITH MEN LOOKING FOR COMFORT AND REGECTION. LOVE ME LOVE ME I told him when I don’t even love myself. So I left him before he could leave me so I could fix myself and become worthy but all I […]
Why did they choose white.
I can’t even sit in a new, freshly “neutral” white painted. apartment for 5 minutes, without the greatest feeling of discomfort anymore.
Hospitals, Institutions, Doctors, Lights, all rooms and hallways, even the freaking beds and gowns and the stupid little wristbands…
Waking up, and the first thing you see is that awful white ceiling, blinking your eyes just to make sure it’s real, because it’s not the ceiling you saw when you closed your eyes. A slight panic might creep up, how can that be?, “where am I?”
Turning your head around, just to pan over more of the white, walls, […]
I’ve contemplated suicide for most of my life. In fact, I recall my first memory of considering killing myself at the age of 9. I’m in my early 20s now attending university and in the time that has passed I still question why I didn’t end it all those years ago.
I never am “good enough.” No matter what I do or how well I do it, I am never complacent. Which leaves me constantly feelings disappointed and worthless. After years of these emotions, inflamed by periods of depression and social anxiety I feel I’m ready to end it. End everything. The sadness. […]
This is my last post, if everything goes well (or horribly wrong, depends on how you see it I guess).
I’m gonna end things this week since some events happened that made me realize the more I prolong things, the worse it’s for me and everyone around me who have to deal with my sorry ass.
I haven’t told anyone but I felt I should just post a little something here. I don’t know.
Anyway. I hope you all the best, whatever the best means for you.
Goodbye
I’m 30 now and have a family. I have a wife, a son, a house (rented), a car, a job. I still remember the very first time I wished I was dead. And I’m exhausted because 20 years later, not a day goes by when I don’t still feel like that. Sometimes it will just be a fleeting thought and sometimes it will be an entire day of wrestling with my own psyche to overpower those feelings.
I remember having those ‘wish I’d never been born’ feelings. I was about 10. I was bullied. At home, at school, in the street. I guess I was always […]
There was this girl who was once happy and glad,
She had everything going for her,
Then thats when it happened,
Now she just sits at home,
Paying no heed to her friends and family,
She thought she was hiding it well,
But everyone knew her hell,
Every night she fell asleep with tears in her eyes and blood dripping down her arms.
She once had everything going for her,
Then it happened,
She could no longer feel the love,
Or the joy,
That was always surrounding her,
She only knew the pain,
And sorrow,
That is in her,
She never smiles,
Never laughs,
Not […]
I am done. Tired. I’ve tried DBT. I’ve tried & i’m tired. I love Scott!! I can’t tell him that though. I dream about him & wish he was in my life, other than being my therapist who I can’t & cannot appease. So, I’ve decided that death will finally take me, as I’ve always felt it would. You see, I have no friends. I can’t & don’t keep them. This world sucks!!! All you see is hate & killing. People who think they are owed, who don’t shoot for the moon themselves. They just want everything handed to them. So, my Suicide is planned […]
Hello sweet strangers, I have been suffering from severe depression and bipolar disorder. I have not been diagnosed of it but it’s very obvious to me.
I used to be engaged about 2 months ago. My life revolved around him and he was my world like any other women who is about to get married no?
I go to college and I am not the smartest nor the best student. I have no source of income really because my scholarship helps me pay for college. My parents can’t even pay to go to the doctor and I do not want to give them more burdens than they […]
Ahem. *clears throat* Awkward. TnT Fuck. Anxiety. Let’s see. Lost 3 friends to suicide. 1 had recently attempted. Idk. I used to have a whole group of friends. Depression came by for a visit. Boom. Became distant and just closed myself up from everyone. Avoiding people all day at school unless I’m stuck with a partner. Realized no one gives a shit about me disappearing. Yep. *becomes air* Probably going to fail school because I’m skipping classes to avoid having anxiety attacks even though I still have them. Holy horseshit I’m probably sounding like some little shit right now. *face palms* How did I even […]
I stoped 2 friends too not suicide…. But no 1 will help me…. Everything i do is wrong…. Everything I touch is wrong…..everything I choose is wrong….. God wont help….. Men that likes men will burn in hell so even if i commit this act i still will go to hell burning forever
oh well my friend will no y i did it
becuase of him ???? oh well hope your problems are fixed not like mine
-brian mejia r.
Everyone hates the attention seekers. The ones who always say things to get others attention and pity. The ones who tell someone every inch of his or her personal, tragical and dramatic life just to get a reaction. Attention seekers disgust everyone. People are sick of them.
One thing I hate most about myself, is that I kind of am an attention seeker. I do things to get others pity without even noticing it. It’s like there’s two sides of me; a side who does everything possible to get attention, pity and all the things I wrote about earlier, and a side, who doesn’t want to […]
Why does no one go into a dangerous situation like climbing mt everest or one of those, just bring everything you’d need as far as food and water to get you as far as you could go and just start walking? Eventually you might reach the area of lower atmosphere whete you are happy and cant think straight, this would certainly be where you die, if you hadnt given up before then. What am i not seeing? Isnt this a viable suicidal venture? Please suggest and respond
I think my friend just found out that i liked men but he is homophobic and he was my frien since 3ed grade im in 8th grade now fuck im going to suicide now everything is ruin hes a snitch i fucking dont care if i go to hell anymore im done byee untill i see a good reason to live
than bye
“539 Everlast”
Spectral I will never arrive
But will you for me if you saw me
Does it but would it matter
The way that I come
Only my backside facing to you
I only want to look up to the sky
I was a natural prodigy at hockey
Super-Man all the way
The fresh air and trees, take me
That is all that I want
To look up and stare at the moon
The stars in the sky that you are
The imagery, child in beautiful room
I love toys and everything
How can I be alive if I’m barely breathing? I’m lying on the cold floor and trying to cry, but no tears are coming out. You’ve made me lose my mind. You broke my heart, drained my tears and destroyed my soul. For what? Is it that nice to hurt someone? To wreck a perfectly normal girl? Huh? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it help with your self esteem? Tell me, darling. Make me understand why you did this to me. It’s all I want. To know why. Then I can die in peace. I’m begging you. Tell me what I […]
Since I can remember at age 4 my father has physical abused my mother and about two years ago he disappeared her into a canal and took her life away he is now in jail and not ever coming out and my mom was found this summer to make the story short and well I’m here struggling with everything my little sister had to move in with me and I think my bf does not like her sometimes I think he does not like me either I have no friends I block everyone out of mylife I trust no one due to my life experiences […]
I fake it all so well. Everyone thinks I’m this happy little girl with no worries and in reality it’s a mask. A mask to the pain and horror I go through. They don’t see that little girl they think is happy cry herself to sleep every night. They think nothing’s wrong with me. Little do they know I fake everything just so they don’t know I cut and cry and want to die every night.
I don’t deserve to be happy, because I don’t have enough experience to connect with others in proper way, without neurotic symptoms. I have lived in my own world too long. I thought I have managed it because I have found friends on college, and had very strong relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years. But I was breaking the rules: I used to push my boundaries, I’ve used magical thinking when I didn’t have time or intelligence to do things right (like I’ll be funny girl, although I used to isolate myself in school, I’ll be good student although I was losing all my […]