I mistakenly got excited–not a lot, but enough to allow me to become disappointed when everything fell through and nothing turned out how I thought I would. I do not get excited very often. I loathe excitement and people who feel it a little too often for my tastes. They are more liable to get their hopes up, as well, which would make me feel bad for them, which would then just make me feel bad in general. Anyway, I went home for Thanksgiving break from college and for some reason thought that I would feel better, that being around my family would make me […]
Every day it gets worse and worse, not quickly though… slow, like an hour glass that seems to never end but it does, just so slowly that it seems like it never changes.
Some days I don’t think of it too much, other days are a nightmare and other days at it’s worst i cut. When I’m alone its at it’s worst and yet when I’m alone is the only time I don’t feel alone… if that makes sense, its like when I’m around other people I feel more alone than ever because no one understands, no one wants to know or care and I don’t […]
One day I’ll have to do it. It’s a fact at this point. The pain has gone on for so long and worsens every day. It feels so hollow and nothing fills the void.
I don’t recall what it feels like to really be happy. Only that I once was a long time ago. It’s so exhausting trying to force everything every day. It’s not my fault. I didn’t ask for this.
There’s something tearing away inside me and I can feel it starting to take over after all these years of fighting it.
One day I’ll have to stop it the only way I know how. The […]
Honestly i just feel like theres no cure to being me. Despite all my good points i feel like my personality is hollow and empty. Because it was pain and trauma that developed, that shaped who i am completely, to the point its all there is inside me. I was molested as a child, abused and harassed for being anorexic or self harming, dealt with poverty and a severely mentally ill mother often by myself when my father was basically out of the picture, grew up isolated (no school, no friends), i’ve been homeless and just so much shit (some i dont want to get […]
Day after day… my heart gets heavy
day after day, water blinds my eyes, i cant bear it anymore
i feel like a tool, people turn on when they wanna have my body
am i just a body? i also have feelings… but day after day, my heart gets broken.
i dont believe in love neither in feeling, all i believe is in selfishness
all the fairy tales I’ve read and watched as a child… they’re far, far away from me.
i wanted to be your Cinderella,
and day after day, all i wanted was to be hugged.
I’m just a doll boy,a forgotten one.
when you want to touch me… it feels good, […]
The cuts aren’t even that deep. They bleed a little and i wipe away the blood. They’re not that big nor that small. The cuts don’t hurt they just sting. It feels like I have poured alcohol over my cuts, that’s how bad it has started to sting. I guess I deserve the stinging because I cut myself.
I find this page this One day when I was in the point of suicide. I was wondering and I just get into the Internet to find a a swear like if someone else feel like I did and yes. So I need to tell someone everything I feel before I blow up and my story to know if someone feels like I do or have the same I do.
My name Nobody really cares but I’m a teenager and have had depression for almost five years, recently I discover i am bipolar I got bipolar disorder II plus eszquizo/affectivity depression. My family form my dad […]
The male, for all his bravado and exploration, is the loyal one, the one who generally feels love. The female is skilled at betrayal and torture and damnation.
“No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm and wants to give up her life”
When ever I hear this song this is the part when I start to cry…This pretty much perfectly describes my life and I’ve noticed it for years now. I seriously need help but I refuse to tell my parents about my depression, my mom already thinks she fucked up on raising us and I feel like telling her about it will only […]
Tears taste salty. When you just shed tears, they give a sensation of warmth in the eyes. When they roll down to the cheeks and neck, it feels cold. After crying for about an hour the tears stop rolling no matter how hard you cry inside.Crying all nights gives early morning headaches. These are facts I never thought I would have to acknowledge someday. But, here I am practically experiencing every inch of it. Its not coming to an end. I’m not sure if this tunnel chose me or I chose that, but I am walking through a dark tunnel and I can’t see light. […]
I am a high school senior. I have anticipated this moment since grade school, when my loving parents emphasized how school was my number one priority. It supposedly was supposed to make me get ahead of everyone. But now I’ve realized that’s a lie. I used to be so quiet and focused on schoolwork. Now I don’t shut up in class. I’m funny; I like jokes. I’m terribly blunt and say inappropriate things I immediately regret. My grades are dropping even though I’m trying so hard. My boyfriend insists everyone feels how tough it is this year, and I’m sure they do, but I feel […]
I feel so hopeless in life…it always feels like the same thing everyday, I’ve given up all hope, really what is there for me to live for the “friends” who make me feel invisible? The family who could care less about me? Everything that i loved about my life is gone i literally do nothing anymore…How could nobody notice how much i have changed in the past 4 years…depression got the best of me and I honestly don’t know if i will ever be okay again. All I want is to genuinely happy for just one day none of this fake bs anymore…
I want to fall asleep & never wake up. Life feels pointless. It has my whole adult life. You struggle mentally, physically, emotionally, financially…and for what? You work your whole life, just to one day die so why not speed up the bullshit process. I am sick and tired of going through the motions. I don’t want to be doped up on anti-depressants. I don’t want to self soothe through sexual pleasure, with alcohol or drugs. I’ve called the suicide hotline, & the douchebag guy pretty much told me to suck it up. Don’t waste your time. Praying doesn’t do shit. After 26 years here, […]
It all feels like a dream right now, like I am no really living, but at the same time I see everything as clear as the day. And it scares me how much I want to end my life when one of my greatest fears is living. I don’t think any of my friends understand how much I am going through.
I want them to understand, I want them to help me, but I know that they can’t because I can even help myself out of all of this. My mom doesn’t believe me when I told her that I might be depressed, she wouldn’t even […]
So ok, something happened tonight.. you might think it’s funny, you may not. I’m unbiased about it for the time being. But i guess..put yourself in this position.
Was just chatting with Internet companions for a few hours and one of them started flirting with me. This all happened with in the course of like 30 minutes…anyways. i chat with these people all the time.. I thought this was a girl, I myself being a guy. I guess I just didn’t notice before but I thought for sure I remember this friend being a girl. I post pictures of myself that people like to see, […]
So haven’t posted in a while and I guess it’s because things were okay. But since I can’t access my doctor right now, I ran out of my anti depressants and after two or three weeks of not taking my daily “happy” pill, I’ve sunk right back to where I was before. Have you ever felt like you’re body us literally screaming that it’s your time to die? That’s what it feels like now, but of course, a part if me flashes images of my brothers, my Lil sister, the friends I still do care about, and it says that if I die, I may […]
Why should someone stay alive ? No one feels your pain , your sorrow . No one really knows everything you’ve been through . I was rapped , then hurt by the love of my life . He cheated on our anniversary . How could I believe he would change when he asked me to take him back ? I was hurt , sad , depressed . I was going through a transition in my life . Before he cheated I had ran away from home . I walked from my house all the way to my grandmothers house . My mom didnt love me […]
Who understands what this feels like. Who knows the pain I’m in. Who lives with suicidal thoughts everyday of their life. I don’t want to die but I don’t want to be here. Does anybody understand? I am a 24 year old queer female who is lost and struggles with alcoholism/addiction issues. Is there anybody out there that could relate/talk to me?
but this is the last straw,
its my birthday in a couple weeks (27), i should be excited and i have alot of things i still enjoy. i can walk, talk, see, smell and hear. and that alone should be enough. I made a list of all the things i appreciate in life, but i look at my list and i dont feel grateful, maybe its the media or the 1st world society problems that i think are so terrible. but im just done with it. every day i wake up and i raise my hand to my head and “pull the trigger” just hoping that […]
My name is Zach, I’m 15 years old, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to kill myself, because I lost count. I know that what I’ve been through is nothing compared to what others have been through, but I feel that doesn’t make it any less valid or painful. My parents got separated Christmas of 2010. Before you explode with the injustice of that date, don’t worry, I’m not Christian, so it wasn’t THAT bad. However, it was the first time something actually went wrong for me. A year passed, and I didn’t really get over it. I started thinking about […]