This is my first time posting on here… So I’m alana I’m 15 years old and I’ve been depressed/suidical since about the beginning of 6th grade. I’ve been bullied my whole life being called fat, ugly, *****, ect…. People made me feel like shit and made me cry myself to sleep about every night. I started cutting in seventh grade when I got called fat. Is was the first time . It go worse cause I tried killing myself by choking myself it never worked. 8th grade year I thought would get better but it didn’t I started losing friends , guys pushed me into […]
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Freshmen Year
I’ve imagined possible suicide methods for quite some time, but I never thought overthinking and looking back would do it. Considering what I’ve gone through, I have no control over it. I’m sorry I’m about to write a lot down.
I was conceived on the day my father forgot to pull out. I was not planned. My older sister needed a friend so my mother kept me. One and a half years after I was born, my parents divorced. Why? My father loved prostitutes and vodka more than his family. After that my mother dated numerous men and married & divorced 2 men before I reached […]
As a child growing up, my dad used to hit me and my brother. Alot. Hard as well. Whenever he got pissed, he would take anything he could find, pipes, sticks, even rulers. Then, he would tie us up and beat us. Sometimes, he would even take us out to a place to leave us there. But in the end, we always forgave him. Cuz he was our dad. After a while, he stopped beating us. But then, my uncle started taking an interest in me. I was 7 when he first molested me. It went on for 5 years. Somewhere in those 5 years, […]
Sometimes, I just think about one of my old friends and how close we used to be. She was my best friend and we did so many things together. She was a very shy person and wasn’t one to talk openly to people. I knew her since childhood and we were friends in the past but up until my Freshmen year of High School, we had drifted apart from one another.
We soon became close friends again. And part of the reason being that at that time I had a very small group of friends. I was awkward in Middle School and seemed to rarely speak […]
So to to make it as short as i can..im a 15 year old girl living in a tiny town out in the middle of no where, i have a few friends that are close..but i just finished my freshmen year, and im back almost all my credits because i missed to much school, when i used to get straight A’s the middle school.. because i couldnt even handle getting out of bed everyday, and facing all those happy people, with there boyfriends and girl friends, and there cute clothes, which i cant get only because my size..and all my friends seem to have boyfriends […]
I know i’m not the only one whose life is messed up but i’ll just get it over with and tell the story…
It started it out when i was in 8th grade, my mom started to cheat on my dad, which i promised her i wouldn’t tell. (bad idea)It got worse, I later found out that my dad had depression not only him but my older sister and then there’s me. My dad got obsessed with my mom until she decided to leave him not only did it made him sad but it made him suicidal. I feared for him mostly because I later found out that […]