stuck in a hole in south east asia, wanted by the authorities, hiding like a scared dog. truth be known, I’ve been hiding my entire life. severe depression since childhood, won’t get into the abuse i suffered but its has haunted me thru  my adult life. I crapped in my mess kit and now i have no way out other than death and frankly i don’t care any longer. Im only writing because its lonely as all hell here. I suppose dying is to be a private matter, but every step is agony and isolation. I believe the plastic bag and morphine is the way […]
Tag:
Hard Drugs
The first time I tried to kill myself was when I was eleven. Â My father was the only person I had in the world, and he had died in spring. Â I went to the school for advanced kids and we did a great deal of independent reading. Â I’d learned about hypothermia. Â I waited until a very cold winter day with feet upon feet of snow. Â I put on my turquoise fur coat, which was the nicest thing I had. Â I knew it would also make it look like an accident. Â I chose a perfect time at night and laid out in the snow.
Needless to say, […]
Poem and how I’m feeling
I log on to my pc
I built it with my own hands and money
I see the backdrop of a starry sky and moon
In my ear I have a music box tune running
And tears are trying to flood into the room
A simple child’s song that brings out memories I wish I had
Each little tinkle, trickle and bom
A music box, xylophone, a trumpet and an instrument unknown
From innocence it sends me
Unto the darker strokes that bring the sadness to the fore
It highlights a lot of inconsistencies
And points out a lot of hard choices I’ve had […]