Ever since I was fourteen or fifteen, I have had many, many fleeting periods of suicidal thoughts. They come often at times of stress. I will take a walk at night and consider throwing myself under the wheels of the passing truck. I am a rock climber, and I have tied a noose out of climbing rope and put it around my neck five times, just sitting alone. Last year I lived on the eleventh floor of my building, and considered pitching myself through the screen and out the window. I have gotten drunk and pulled a knife across my wrists, imagining what it would […]
Tag:
High School
It has been months and months in which I have been seriously contemplating whether or not I am depressed. Some days I will smile up at heaven (this not intended to start a religious battle, but for all educational purposes) and thank God for all he has done for me, however other days which seems to be a 70% time thing as opposed to a 30% time of the looking to heaven. I feel extremely stressed due to school, I am 16 years old have been taking classes since freshman year (now a junior) throughout the high school years with not a single summer break. […]
I was thinking about the other night,  “Why did anything changeâ€, and I realised how it changed, I grew up and went into high school I thought it would be something I would love to be at but, to be honest, I didn’t think it’d be this hard. This hard to get up every morning and knowing something bad will happen, and most of the time I’m right. It sucks having to walk down those crowded hallways realising you’re different from everyone else because of your past, because of what you’ve done to yourself and what people think about you. Most of the things people […]
Today in religion class, we talked about euthanasia and how it goes against the fifth commandment of you shall not kill. One student asked the teacher that if somebody kills themeselves, do the go to hell. And the teacher said nobody can know but God, but it is assumed that they go to hell. And that in the early days of the church if someone committed suicide, they wouldn’t even have a funeral for them or bury them in the church because thats how they felt about suicide. She went on to say that now that medical education has increased, it is not the suicidal […]
I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis of who I am before I start explaining what is that’s making me feel suicidal. To start my name is Luke, I’m 19 and I live in St. Louis Missouri, have my whole life. I graduated highschool a little over a year ago and I’m currently going to ITT Tech. I’m overall a middle of the road kinda guy on almost everything. B average student, somewhat attractive, funny at times, etc. Just normal.
Anyway as of late I’ve been feeling pretty bad. Actually I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. For some reason I’ve been […]
Older Posts