I want to welcome you to your life. I’ve seen and filled it with my eyes, and it is pure. When you believe in something strong, you can be too sure. And if it’s safe to sleep at night…
I will walk you through your home and set your place. I’m still attracted by your smile, that rests upon your face. You don’t want to rest your lips.. So lets keep them speaking. I hear her speak to me..love
Oh she told me things I’ve set in stone, drove my heart steaks through the ground. I’ve up rooted..all I’ve known.
I know a world […]
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hold
I went to college and did well despite being bipolar. I studied hard. Just to find out i cant get a decent job, or hold it down. Im now a loser. im going to die soon. no help is coming. suicide is my only option. my only option. my only option. i cant live with this shame anymore.
Hey…I don’t think I ever mentioned this on this website,so here we go: I have a band.I am a musician.Yep,yep,I know that I am a schizoid idiot with anger management issues,but hey,that doesn’t stop me from singing,right?
Anyway,we’re approaching the completion of our last song and the release of our first album.Working on this album was the only thing keeping me motivated to hold on a little longer for the last 3 months.So yeah,after the album is released,I think I’ll just hang myself.
I only posted this so I could say goodbye to anyone…You see,I got no one.No (caring) family,no friends…no one…So I thought I might say […]
I think I will finally end it all today. This will be the second time I try to kill myself, but this time I’m not going to take some pills. I have a razor blade next to me and plan to get in the shower and cut myself open. I just wanna tell my story to someone and anyone who is willing to read this. This is not an impulsive thing I’ve been in pain for a very long time and am so tired of trying to hold on. I was bullied all of my life, and no I’m not exaggerating, ever since I started […]
These tears I’m wailing,
I spill not without reason.
Remove them, my dearest love.
Take me to the place I’ve been dreaming of,
where the grotesquely lonely
meet the grotesquely lonely
and they whisper,
just very softly,
Please be mine – at least in our afterlife, Dearest Love.
So more psychological BS by someone who’s intentionally trying to screw around with my life….. I’m kind of over it and it’s pathetic that no one can state what’s going on….. kind of a pathetic world we live in, but I shouldn’t be intentionally forced out of an industry of or towns or of anywhere…… but that’s seems to be what’s happening because some people are really really screwed up….God help them…. and in the meantime I’ll hold enough faith that things work out for my personal situation spending and hour and half on a bridge is never a good thing – but it’s my […]
I was addicted
To the cold knife blade piercing the delicate flesh of my wrist.
You ask why I didn’t tell you
You keep asking why I did it
Listen,
How can you judge someone if you don’t know
The Pain.
The Sorrow
The unending hell
In my addiction I felt disgusted with myself
I was falling deep inside the black
I saw no hope in my sight.
STOP ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
I was given a second chance
God Saved me.
My spirit free at last.
Now I stand here
still breathing still smiling
Listen, I’m a survivor and I can tell you that Suicide is never the answer when I tried to get help I was a subject of riticule and was […]
She saw my scars. She traced my arm while at work, and just said, “you’re not weak, you’re just too strong to hold it in”. She doesn’t know I like ger, but there was…tenderness there. I’ve never once had that. But I’ve learned from past mistakes, she hasn’t seen the real scars, not my shoulder, not my sides, she doesn’t know the monster within. And I won’t show her.
I often wonder if listening to depressing music is good for me by giving me something to hold on to or just serves to increase my sadness. I remember, even as a teenager, preferring that kind of music to the more upbeat and cheerful tunes, I listened to both but the darker lyrics seem to speak to me much more than any other. I remember a tune that really got to me back then, the lyrics about loneliness and isolation touched me and hearing it twenty five years later, they still do. I’ll continue to listen even if it has, perhaps in a small way, […]
So, I’ve been spending the past 5 years of my life on a steady downward spiral. I can’t hold a job more than a year. Failed out of college, failed with relationships with both sexes, and destroyed my credit. I feel like everything I touch dies. I can’t get anything right, and its been that way my entire life. I’m at the point that I really don’t see the point in continuing to be another uncontributing wasted resource in the world. I keep thinking I should pull the plug on it. I can’t really shake it. Have you ever felt like you were destined to […]
Come on in!
Have a seat, i hope you like the people you’re about to meet.
First we have this girl, you see is kinda a geek.
This girl likes to read, she’s not out-going but she isn’t meek.
Then we have another girl, tall and proud she stands.
Guess again, she’s scared that people find the secret she hides.
She prays no one knows.
We now have a broken one, some of you may know-
This girl’s soul is so blacken and cold.
She doesn’t care that you’re even there.
She doesn’t want someone to hold, she just wants it all to end.
Scaredy cat girl, afraid […]
hitting out of a leaf spiff.
the music cycles through the zodiac.
it seems at the end, we have lost.
only me. staring at the cat.
the bunny bit me, and I bled.
the purple sky turns the water red.
devil shines through the mind.
what is your color of black.
on to the next tract. what will be.
in the hands of faith.
the moon and the night.
in darkness. the story of the lost knight.
death. a horsemen.
seems like we hold a chain, all of us.
exiled from the mystical realm.
i am losing.
I’ve been so lonely lately and I feel like my music is the only thing I have to hold on to. Nobody will listen to me when I speak, when I cry, when I scream, I feel like I’m falling into a deep dark hole. Never to return again.
I’ve had so many thoughts about running away or killing myself… I’m starting to scare even myself.
I’ve always hated myself. I’ve never actually felt love except for when I was a kid. I’m still falling into the endless void.
Always was. Always will be…
Garaa – check ur email, if you may.
Cruxification. Jesus is dead. Sickness.
A cowboy, the song of an outlaw. The Dragon House.
Resuscitate, Eddie Murphy, hit him up to save the Buddha child.
Hit me back up. Tom Cruise will be down to hit me back up.
Tom Hanks, take me to an island. A place, for the freedom of Wilson.
Where to go, to escape Armageddon, T Cruise knows what’s up.
Making his dough. The super star.
Ninja Thai Princess, on to the next sound. Surfing. We will run. We will fight.
The power of a thousand men. Swimming across an ocean, a wooden water […]
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way
Through night and day,
‘Cause I know I just can’t stay
Here in heaven.
Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door,
There’s peace […]
I’m struggling. My brain is in fog. I feel like I’m grasping to get a hold of my thoughts but they slip through my fingers like smoke. I can’t focus, I can’t think, I can’t concentrate. I’m meant to be writing for a big project, but just can’t get a hold. I know that it is in my head somewhere but it may as well be covered in lard for all I can get a grip on it. I know I can be so much better than this but it is all so exhausting, I am tired and I am lost like this. I just […]
Hello I’m 25yrs young I like that word better I’ve felt this way for awhile now I attempted suicide once already and died for about 5 seconds, long enough to hear the heart monitor flatline and feel life slip away, when I was a kid I had believed in finding something to believe in or hold onto, when I was younger I would look into the mirror and this feeling of sadness ignite in my heart I’d stare through the tears and tell myself it’ll change it’ll go away I used to wake up at night and cry until I fell asleep again sometimes my […]
I’m still in love with my ex-girlfriend. We had an incredible relationship up to the point that I lost my son and depression took hold of me, we separated for a few months and got back together just as I lost my mother to a rapid cancer death. Depression took hold of me again and we separated in November last year. I have always been in love with her, throughout our time together and our time apart. I have never entertained the thought of being with anyone else.
We separated both times because I lost the ability to communicate and I had lost myself, the man […]
Every morning I wake up and it’s the same: I’m still alive. Sometime I wake up and cry, other times I sit up and hold in the pain afraid my mother or brother will notice it. Some days I don’t get up. I skip school and lie in bed looking at the ceiling or sleeping, trying to escape reality. I hear as my mother walks into my room and asks worriedly if I think it’s normal to stay in bed all day and all I can do is nod. I don’t have the strength to get out of bed and face life. All I can […]
I’m going to eat 11 nurofen all i have :(.then I will hopefully fall in unconsues .before that I will that my eipen .this messes up the heart and makes blood vessals smaller .with the nurofen whitch says not to take if u have heart problems.i migth as well take some strong alcohol with that .finally when asleep I will hold a bag over my head with my thumb so when I fall asleep so choke to death . So who thinks this will work.i need to be certin cause my mom will notice the stuff gone. if anyone could give me any advice or […]