i keep finding reasons to stay later and later at work… in the hopes that while walking back to my car i will be violently assaulted and killed. i even deliberately park in the dark vacant part of the lot. two things though. 0ne, i don’t really work in a very high (violent) crime area. and two, i am a guy, not a whisp of a guy, but not a huge truck of a guy either. it’s sad, but statistically speaking, i would be more likely to be assaulted if i were a woman. not that i approve of it happening to others… it’s just […]
Tag:
Last Ten Years
This past summer my three sisters have repeatedly tricked me into seeing/being near my mother. Not wanting to make a scene I was as cordial as humanly possible. I decided to wait until summer was over to explain to my mother how I really felt.
Before this summer I had gone ten years without seeing her – for good reason.
She abused me. Not just a slap on the face, but literally beat me bloody. She would lock me outside for days with no food, give my siblings and I scoring hot baths, beat us until our skin was raw and tender to the touch, call us […]
snippets from a journal I write, to try and not spill all this into my personal life and job; better on paper, and better left where some will agree and sympathize.
This is the modern world — if you are over 45 and out of work, you cannot expect a good job or a salary that is more than basic sustenance. There will be no retirement, no golden years, no health care, no public assistance. By not having amassed wealth, I became of no value to this country. I am miserable about the state of this country, half the citizens clamoring for more breaks for the […]
I have spent the last two weeks in bed. I have no desire to get out of it. I feel like i am dead but still alive. I am worthless and dont deserve anything. I was the last born in a family of five. My parents had me late in life. My brother who was twelve when i was born was murdered. My brother had a friend that was dealing drugs and setting fires. He was going to testify against is fromer friend. His family had my brother killed. He was struck a car late one night and died of massive head and chest. It […]