Ever since I was little I would write letters to the people in my family who had died. I write my dead cousin alot. I tell how much I hate living. I tell her how much I hate my life, how my mother picks my sister over me. I told her about my trip to the suicide ward. Its strange how just writing it down can make it feel better. I wrote to her yesterday about how I have a plan to kill my self and I have a note writen out just for when they find me. I write to her because she is […]
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Letters
Back during my Freshman year of high school (I’m now a junior) I was really close friends with this gay guy in my drama class named Josh. He moved away that same year and we had our struggles keeping in touch, but he started collage last year and completely shut me out and stopped talking to me… It really hurt me because I had feelings for him for a while (yes I knew he was gay). We helped each other through things, he knew what it was like to be suicidal and struggle with self harm so we hit it off right away and became […]
I saw this once. Every day, write a letter to someone in or out of your life. I posted something last night about feeling empty, and how I felt like I didn’t have a soul, but maybe I can find some meaning like this? I don’t know. I have to try. Maybe it will keep me from feeling like I’ve got nothing.
After all, I keep trying to tell people that only you can define your life. Only you can fill it with meaning, because without your love and care and work, it is, essentially, meaningless. Maybe I’ll define my life by confronting the things that […]
yeah, you were huh? Weren’t you there for me when I came out of the ward? I spent 5 dollars calling you everyday at the hospital. When I came home I found out about you and her. What happened to all the things you told me? Oh I recall, ” Your a great friend Abigail, I love you”. Remember what you told my best friend? “I love her so much”. You talked me out of killing myself and now you won’t even talk to me. What ever happened? I love you more than anything but on top of all the shit I’ve gone through you […]