So i have managed to loose my boyfriend my two bestfriends and half my family all in one week,life is just fucking amazing. Fuck everything,fuck life. what even is the point anymore iv lost everyone. i guess its time for me to go now.
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life is
I.Feel.Like.Shit! I can never stop feeling like shit. It feel like I was born to feel like shit because it never goes away.Nothing ever takes me away from feeling so down. I got to counseling but it never helps. The only time I feel good is when I am with other people ! When I am alone …..I just think I think about the absolute worst!!!! I can’t stop the thoughts, it’s like I can’t breathe . I consider killing myself almost everyday but I’m Afraid. I just want to get out of this hell of a life. This shitty ass life that I can’t […]
Warning – really long and pathetic post
So I still want to kill myself. And every time I think about this, I think about the reasons I shouldn’t, or why I haven’t already. And most of the time I realize I’m just living out of fear of something. Like the possibility of an afterlife. I think I overcame this. And the other major one, which I think I overcame a few months ago, is the idea of my mother mourning me. I’ve never liked it when my mother expressed her love for me (which I think is common for teenagers with low self-esteem – even though I’m […]
Don’t trust me.
I will make you believe that I am happy. I will make you believe that I have my shit together and my life is perfect. I will make you believe that everything is going on my favor. I will make you believe that I enjoy being around my family and friends. I will make you believe that I am in love with life, nature and sun. I will make you believe that I always look forward to parties and hangouts. I will make you believe that I’m the kind of person who wants to live as long as possible when the truth is […]
I think all i need in life is comfort and motivation, instead of criticism of every mistake i do. My mom isn’t here for that anymore because she basically doesn’t wanna hear from my ass because her fucking husbands ***** ass made her choose him over her own fucking son so now I’m here with my dad and hes in debt and you know how that puts people right? So fucking annoying, angry all the time, bad attitudes, and basically turned him into a worse alcoholic. My life is not bad… but it should be better, i try to make it better but I’m discouraged […]
Does it seem unfair that most of us are born into emotional debt? Our parents love us from before Day One, and thereafter we can’t unlive, or live unwell, without hurting them – not to mention those whose love we accrue over the following years. Being loved is a blessing, or so I hear, but it’s also bondage.
Sometimes I want to kill myself out of protest, but: 1) even depressed and anhedonic, I know that hurting those who love me is wrong; 2) it’s possible that I chose to be here and accept this debt; and 3) the One I’d be protesting against would likely […]
You know, depression is one frustrating thing. After you’ve been so good for such a long time you start to think you’ve beaten it and that’s that.
Like a cold that had finally decided it was time to leave.
But when you finally let your guard down and try to forget about all those depressed time, it decides to come back and feed on your positive life force.
Can I just have the cold instead please? Haha
I just don’t understand why it has to hide in my shadow, acting like molasses and weighing me down when I try to move forward. “Oh, hey there depression. […]
There are over seven billion people living on Earth, and I am just one person. I did some math and realized that one person makes up less than 0.0000000143 (one hundred forty-three ten billionths) of a percent of the entire population. One percent of 7 billion is 70 million. That’s 70 million people with names, feelings, personalities, beliefs, moms, dads, and problems. If they all just died, then the world would’ve only just lost one percent of its entire population. I don’t know more than a handful of people. Really just looking at the numbers you can see that a life isn’t worth much. What’s […]
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