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Music, like Life

by loquism
written by loquism

223

I used to get ear and throat infections all the time when I was a kid. One usually lead to another because the ear and throat are linked by the Eustachian tube. One time I didn’t bother to get antibiotics so I ended up with permanent tinnitus (ringing in the ears). I usually don’t notice it, but the tinnitus can get pretty loud if the room is silent.

I used to always have music playing so I wouldn’t hear the ringing in my ears. After my sister died, I stopped playing music almost entirely. I started thinking: people aren’t really afraid to die. They are afraid […]

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Two Dreams

by loquism
written by loquism

1

I tried half a teaspoon of Pentobarbital with lemonade today. At first I wondered why it wasn’t working. Then I stood up and I couldn’t walk straight so I got into bed. I woke up 17 hours later (I fell out of bed a couple of times) and I was hungry so I got something to eat. I was still heavily intoxicated and drowsy so I went back to bed.

I dreamed that I lived in a city enclosed by platinum panels forming a dome. Outside was a red, post-apocalyptic wasteland. There was a hole at the top of the dome?the only exit to the city.  […]

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Three Deaths

by loquism
written by loquism

“There are three deaths. The first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time.”

– David Eagleman

Had I continued living, I’d still be all but dead-to-the-world. The only people who spend time around me are people who think I’m useful; and what am I, if not useful? Replaceable? Professionals, because they are paid to; coworkers, because they have to; salespeople, to sell; etc, etc. (Yeah, I know, my fault-but social development was never important to my family.) Don’t […]

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