I’m done trying to be an A student. I’m doing trying to be the perfect daughter. The amazing girlfriend. I’m done trying to be happy. I used to think that there was always something better but why look towards the future when you have to live in the present and your past always haunts. I’m tired of being terrified of my own father. I’m tired of putting on a fake smile everywhere I go. I’m not trying to complain but honestly, I haven’t felt this suicidal for a really long time. It feels like there is no hope left in the world. I don’t want […]
Tag:
loss of hope
Everyday is there behind me, with a hand on my shoulder. The feeling is sneaky and ugly and dirty. Sometimes it feels like you would clean me, to take my last breath. To get away from the evil feelings that I will never be enough and that nothing I do is good enough.
There’s always a nagging itch.
Before the kids wake… Maybe they won’t miss me. Maybe they’ll be better off. Maybe…
My frontal lobe is torturing me and I’m surrounded by sociopaths.
Is a movie called Pie where the guy drills a hole in his head from this madness, and that crazy need for relief is so […]