I’ve been trying to discover some meaning in life but keep coming to the conclusion that there isn’t one, because there isn’t. I wish I had a delusion like most people in order to get some fulfillment out of this, but I don’t, I never have, and I can’t lie to myself to create one. I’m too much of a realist, and I see how shitty this world is, and how pointless it all is and I just don’t want to be a part of it. I really hate life. Not mine in particular, although mine does indeed suck in many ways, but life in general. I […]
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Meaningful Relationship
I’ve completely ruined my life. Â But I don’t think I ever had one.
Things started spiriling out of control earlier this summer when I quit my job. I’ve been doing contract software development at home for years. It’s a life of sad isolation. I sit in my den and type away for days straight. The job was just going bad, I was losing interest and my boss new it. He pushed me and I snapped. It was sad, because when it started it seemed like there would be so much potential.
Anyway, something happened afterwards that made me realize I didn’t want to be a programmer anymore. […]