So i decided to share my suicide story with you. Â I am 26 year old male from Europe. I had on-off strong suicide thoughts since my early teenage years. I hate myself a lot. i don’t think i should live on.
The reason for that is that i always end up in some really bad, shitty situations. Mostly due myself and my own stupidity, Â laziness or my weak character. I mostly live from one emotional disaster to an other, some shit always happens to me, and i freak out and can’t take it easy. And i effect people around me, a lot of people got […]
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Muscles
I’m not expecting much. There’s little risk here.
A man jumps from the tenth story of a building. A crowd gathers – though not too close – to the scene of the act. You always need one person to alarm the ambulance; perhaps one to call the police, too. Â I’d recommend someone to clean up the mess.
The rest are mere witnesses. In all, a heartbreak for a few, an inconvenience for some, perhaps an envious end for others.
Now, there is someone else: the person looking down from the ledge. It’s hard to see them, as they’re so high up. There’s the obvious distraction down below, as […]
I can’t believe it.
I’ve survived this long.
I’ve waited all day.
Practicallly gave up on him showing up today. But not even five minutes in of slipping into my bed to sleep, I get a text.
“Hey you,” it says, “Get on.” It’s from a restricted number. I don’t know who it is but I decide to get on anyways. I type in the password to my laptop. The fan is on low and the lights are off. It’s a common bedtime setting for me. Something to listen to so I don’t get paranoid of every little bump in the night. And the blanket to help me dream […]
i kind of feel like nothing. you know?
as in. i feel empty, literally.
like i have no stomach, or liver, or kidneys, or lungs just nothing. i feel nothing. im just an outline of a figure holding a sad soul, that has already died.
the only thing i know exists is my brain, because the voices are haunting it.
my feelings are gone. i thought i felt numb before, and would occasionally notice a feeling, of somewhat happiness that would last mere seconds.
but now. it’s like i don’t even recognise emotion.
i ‘smile’.
it feels like any other movement.
it doesn’t hold any true feeling of happiness. nothing. […]
I wish my awareness would dullen some or just disappear. I always walk by a mirror and look myself in the eyes and i can see and feel the sadness. I can see the tears that make up my brown eyes. My hands are calloused and aged. My heart aches and struggles again. My chest wants to break free of the tight bands of muscles surrounding it. My feet tired of walking on the earth.
Oh the feet enjoy the warm from hot asphalt and cold wet blades of grass. Just like my tongue it enjoys the bitter taste of chocolate or the burn of […]
I’m currently at work, my back is killing me, Still, I manage to keep a normal expression on my face, but I’m in pain, my back has been hurting me for the past 3 days and it’s just getting worse, I’ve put icy hot to calm my muscles but still, the pain is there. Last week my hair began to fall out so much, not just what you would expect, like if I run my fingers through, I’d pull out about 20 each time or more, it’s scary, I’m so afraid of brushing it now. Is it because I’m stressed out? Last night my ex […]
Please for now refer to me as Inspire, I don’t share the same pain as many of those who come on here, I have a pain that no matter what it never goes away.
I currently live with my aunt since both my parents died in a car accident when I was very little, I was in that car accident and nearly died with them. Back then I didn’t know what to think and now I’m glad to be alive. I don’t have the funnest of lives I live with my aunt who has an odd hate for me. I currently am trying to stay in […]