Mutilate

i can feel myself gaining weight
i can feel the escalating urges to self mutilate
i can feel the loss of sanity
of minor happiness
i feel the pain that shouldn’t exist
i’m weak
too weak to kill myself
but too weak to give no fucks and live
this aching is tearing at my wounds
these thoughts drowning me
i’m suffocating by the sorrow that surrounds me
alone i’m feeling all of this
yet, alone, i feel nothing

… because i’m worthless.