I looked into a moisture covered mirror, saw a empty reflection of me. I was bothered, I was aware, I was committed. I was not going to wake up from this one. Fabric in hand, slip knot created, over my head and around my neck. Firmly in place, other end put over the door edge, I was in the right place, I was going to watch myself in the mirror slowly hang myself to the end. Red to purple face, veins projecting strongly, eyes growing larger and redder, oxygen depleting, knees weakening. F this, something is keeping me from completing. Another attempt, another failure…Still I […]
Tag:
neck
So I started to become chronically depressed which only worsened as I aged. I believe it started when I was 8. Parents are selfish with terrible emotional and self esteem issues who should never have had the right to conceive. To summarize; Mom is a few wire-crosses short of self-combustion. Ego driven, superficial maniac that is incredibly angry and would just scream, scream, scream 24 hours a day. In any other previous time period she would have been taken out back behind the barn and put out of her misery like a rabid dog. Dad has some self-esteem issues, and would basically put me down […]
Smile. Walking to the next stage, to the alas.
The lone stranger yet to be deciphered.
What shall be these freed chain. Today. Where it’s only ever been me.
Now. Held, there is only one sword. Me … and God.
Today, the sun never arrived. Because today, there is only me.
And the chain of the world around my neck.
Now, only playing to the sound of music.
The sun was yet to be arrived. Left overs, abyssal stick to my shirt.
I shall remain, since my beginning. Walking to my tomb.
But today, is today. Vowed to celestial.
The misconception and fallacy mirror projected upon […]
No but really I’m having the worst anxiety attack right now. And to add to it my mother wants to come into the session with me so she can meet the doctor. Now, I don’t have a problem with that because that’s what we’ve normally done for the past 4 crazy doctors, I just hope she isn’t going to make me out to be a basket case that needs to be seen every day…since, well, I am getting worse.
Sorry, I just don’t know what to do anymore. It gets to the point where you’re fucked over one too many times and they say “keep your head […]
I tried hanging myself with a shoelace just now. I wasn’t off the ground, it was tied around my door handle and the other end my neck while I sat on the ground. I’ve even seen a successful video on this being done and I don’t understand why mine wasn’t successful. Anyway, I could barely breathe and I could feel myself getting lightheaded and my ears even felt weird like almost numb, but I sat there for a very long ass time and did not pass out or die. Wth! Can anyone explain why this could have failed? It was not bc I didn’t wait […]
Short-drop suspension is the way to go. Slip knot on the rope to tie it around my neck…That works fine.
…But I’m not sure how to tie the other end to something. What you guys think? How can you do that?
Why is it at night I wanna cut?
Burn my arm with that cigarette butt,
Feel that rush running though my veins,
That sweet sensation of pain,
Some nights I want to take the blade right along my neck,
End the misery, the pressure but out of all that what do I really get?
Then I think I should just do this,
I know for a fact I won’t really be missed.
People will be happy to see me go,
Didn’t think people could be so low.
They are the real soul takers,
And dream breakers.
Funny how when its morning my thoughts are gone,
Right at the crack of dawn,
I forget about the blade, the tablets, the […]
I was comfortable and the pressure was tightening around my neck and i fell unconscious and woke up with my arms flapping around, i was almost there.
I spend all day with belt tied around my neck. Desensitizing myself. Tightening just enough to feel rush of blood to the head. Preparing myself to make my death comfortable.
I tried to hang myself and I fell and when I got up I looked in the mirror and my neck was bruised, and red! If I can’t die, how am I going to live walking around with these marks all over my neck!!!!!
How do I hide them!?
Older Posts