Tag:

Old Habits

I turn 18 today, but I’m broken

by mysmilecoversalot :) 4/26/2013

written by mysmilecoversalot :)

Today, I turned 18 years old.

On my 16th birthday, after crying myself to sleep, I vowed to never cry over my family again. Instead of focusing on all of the things that were destroying me, I focused on the diet I had started about 10 days prior. It took control of my entire life. By July I weighed less than 100 pounds, my bones stuck out, but I still wanted to be skinnier. I rarely ate, but when I did, I made sure to throw it up.

I started recovering last summer, June 2012. It went well for awhile, but once school started back […]

4/26/2013 4 comments

Old Habits Die Hard

by Zumbii 3/21/2013

written by Zumbii

I have done it again. This time deeper. Wider. Longer. Bloodier. I can’t remember why. I can’t remember what I used. How I did it. Where I did it.

But I do remember the pain AFTER the injury. I remember having to have my leg bandaged for three days. And after three days still cleaning up blood. I remember having a severe limp. People would ask me what was wrong, and I’d just say, “Oh, the weather these days really does a number on my hips.”

My boyfriend questioned them, but only briefly. We are both so accustomed to seeing scars on eachothers’ bodies. Sometimes I wished […]

3/21/2013 1 comment

alone

by indifferent 10/15/2012

written by indifferent

it feels as though im in a thick blanket of cold and darkness all alone with no one to help me. i have many people there for me, my friends, my boyfriend, even my sister, but it seems like their help is no use to me. i try to accept it, i try to explain to them how i am feeling but they fail to understand me. they dont get me and how i am and i feel. its as if me telling them everything is useless. i dont like telling them everything but they want to know and all i want is for them […]

10/15/2012 3 comments

old habits will bite you in the ass.

by hoping.... 5/31/2012

written by hoping....

the past two days have been hell. the person i care the most about lied and back stabbed me. i’m afraid of myself. im afraid that im going to fall back into my old habits. the only thing i’ve eaten for two days is about 5 nacho chips. (no cheese) and i have mostly lost my entire desire to even eat. im never hungry anymore and im eating less and less. i’m afraid because this is how my pattern starts i know it is. i guess im not exactly sure what im doing on this blog or even just writing this but i dont know […]

5/31/2012 2 comments

“The Rescue”

by SunnySideUp 2/24/2012

written by SunnySideUp

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote anything, let alone posted anything… I think December was the last time I posted? I’m too lazy to check (even though it is a few clicks). I’ve been aÂ diagnosedÂ depression patient for almost 5 years now, dunno how long I’ve actually been depressed for though, seems like it’s been for a good chunk of my life though

There was a certain moment in my life when I reallyy really wanted to kill myself. And then there was those other moments when I was really close to thatâ€¦ though even in my most jaded of times, I still had some sliver […]

2/24/2012 7 comments

It’s like the evidence is cared for, and evidently clear. I’ll never leave this dance floor and I’ll never leave you here.

by Nat.... 2/23/2012

written by Nat....

I’m so alone, I really want to go back to old habits. i don’t really know why?

All i know is that my razorblade would look so good in my wrist right now, i’ve been quite depressed lately? i don’t know why…. i thought things were getting better. maybe they are but i just can’t see it…i really need help. But if you ask me that i would probably deny it, i have such a big thing about germs at themoment, my brother is ill so im terrified to be around him….

I Can’t Cope With This Anymore….:/

<3.

2/23/2012 0 comment