I fucking hate my job. i hate it with a passion. its part time and i dont make money from it. the people there are horrible i cant stand some of them i feel like they all talk shit behind my back. it makes my anxiety worse when i feel like this. i get in trouble for things i didnt do or “didnt do by policy” wtf? why does it have to be so friggin complicated? i get up every morning get on a bus to get there i come at least a half hour early. i clock in by myself on time, i stand […]
Passion
I’m 23, gay male and miserable a good deal of the time. I feel like I have no right to be so unhappy when I have so much going for me, but rather than feel guilty, I feel like, it’s not fare. Why would someone, God, Fate, Karma, whatever, give me so much to enjoy and so little capacity to enjoy it. I walked home alone tonight from a big drag show where everyone was having a good time. On the way out the door, I cheerily said goodbye to five friends, two of my therapists and the boy I’m in love with, who only […]
Ok then, I don’t suppose there is much point me lying anymore. I do that a lot, lying, it always seems to be the best way to continue without actually living or letting anything out. The problem is I want to live, I don’t want to be one of these people that just pretends to be someone else and never feels true emotion. I suppose it’s easy, I should know I’ve been doing it for the fourteen years of my life. But these days I just feel myself wanting to scream and breakdown, I don’t want to put a brave face on it; I […]