I thought about jumping in front of the train again today… old thought. I try to figure out the logistics in my head. I thought about drinking and taking a bad combination of pills… making cyanide… putting a bag over my head after drinking a lot… I don’t have the guts. Maybe finding a way to get ********… might be easier. I watch the documentaries of people who go to foreign countries to end their lives… they have people there with them when they died… wishing them a safe journey… I wonder if I could ever have that.
I think I wouldn’t… I know I don’t.