Tomorrow is another squadron meeting. I don’t think the chaplain would be a safe bet. my only friend suggested, if i treat the squadron like family, then I should tell at least someone, someone I could trust there. although I know and trust lots of them, there are a few I would never tell. example? My DCC. I’m really nervous, and if I even get the nerve to say anything, then I imagine they’d help me. Please, pray for me.
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safe
what would it look like if I committed suicide tonight. I’m not even sure how I would do it. I don’t have a gun, which is the safe bet. That doesn’t leave a lot of choices – drugs, cutting, not sure what else. and to complicate matters, I have a dog. What would she think? What would she do? I’m not expected to be anywhere until about 9 AM on Tuesday (it’s 8:34 PM on Saturday night) so she would be alone for a long time. How long would it take for people to search for me? […]
I accidently texted my mom “my parents haven’t said a fucking word to me” that was supposed to go to my best friend. Now I’m locked in my room. Terrified to leave the safe place. Thinking about running away, driving away if I can get passed my parents, thinking about cutting, overdosing. Anything! I want to get out of this fucking place! I want to leave these bitches now! After next year I’m done with this shit! I’m going to live with my best friend. I am so fucking done!!!!
i think its safe to say from what has just happund no one cares about me at all
i think i need to think for a bit
so long
i’m the type of person who hesitates to kill myself because i still have faith that maybe something good can happen. so i make a little agreement with myself; if nothing happens, if i’m not ever happy, within 2-3 months, i will die. every time i’ve done this i’ve met a wonderful person who seemed to be capable of being a good enough friend to make me decide to live an extra 3 or so months.
now that i’m with my girlfriend, this something good will nearly always be present which means i’m “safe” for a bit (or forever if she stays with me that long). but […]
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