So I have put a lot of thought into this and decided that I truly want to end my life. I have been battling with this for years and tried several different ways of working this out. I have lost my job (which was everything to me) due to my “personality” which was the wake up call. I no longer belong to this world and am ready to leave. The method I have chosen is asphyxiation. I am still working a few things out I will do a trial run and write my letter and hopefully be gone for this world.
It is not going to get better. It is actually going to get better and worse.  It is going to fluctuate like the temperature does during the year. Or the grades of a collection of students. Or the color of sky at dusk and dawn.Â
There are no guarantees. There is not a happily ever after. It does not work that way. Even if you expend 100% effort and 100% faith what you want still may not happen. Then again it may happen exactly as you choose. Or it may happen in a totally different fashion. The only thing you can do is keep going forward.
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