Today I started to cut. It feels like the right thing to do. I was going to do it on my arms but I decided to do it on my hip instead. The pain is bad but the cuts are good, though I feel like a mess. I keep shaking every time it think about self harm, it’s like the shakes you have when you’re cold, they’re hard to stop. My hip is badly hurting now. I’ve had racial comments made at me today. Some by my “friends’” boyfriend, but her and all her friends that were supposed to me my friends are sticking up […]
Tag:
shaking
Just a poem I’ve written today which is I think pretty recognizable for people who cut. It’s the way I feel about it.
The first time,
it feels so innocent.
Just a small scratch.
But after a while,
you know that first cut wasn’t that innocent.
It was the beginning of an addiction,
that’s hard to beat.
And addiction that’s getting worse and worse.
There’s nothing left of that first little scratch.
The cuts you make now are much worse.
While you’re cutting,
you can see the skin tearing apart.
You can feel the stinging pain,
of your knife that’s cutting in your skin.
You […]
….the bottle
The pills will make you insane
And if you don’t maintain your feelings
Your brain has already found a way
Instead you watch your hands shaking
The room is spinning, you’re getting dizzy, losing focus
And your thoughts are filled with images of a man in a red suit
Whispering ugly truths…
How did you get lost?
How did it get out of control?
You were on a right path
Then you turned left
Spiraling down a rabbit hole
Digging again another grave
Don’t make rock bottom your home
And tears are okay
Keep filling the jar
It’s been rough but not rough enough […]
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