I’ve been up all night thinking….is today the day? Tomorrow? Tuesday? …seconds keep turning into minutes that keep turning into hours that keep turning into days that keep turning into weeks that keep turning into months that keep turning into years….Life keeps going….Its unforgiving…you miss the bus you miss the bus there is no catching it….I keep lingering and festering like an open wound exposed to germs … I hate that the sun rises signaling the end of yesterday and the beginning of today….I fucking hate that today is the future that seemed so promising 5 years ago…I turn 22 next month on the 5th […]
Tag:
Showers
When the sun sparkles, it makes me glad. A gleam of a smile, it’s nothing like sad.
The flowers arise and the draft sways the trees. Â Mommy, can I go outside please?
A luminous colour of green showers the turf, oh how much I love the earth.
A crack. A cling. A noise from above.
The thunder breaks as I clench my velvet glove.
The sky dims over the splendour, I crouch down, am I the only to surrender?
The devious rain, slashing at my back, something’s coming, something I lack.
Mommy rushes over, gripping my arm. Runs to the house, takes me to the warm.
I look out the window, look out […]
My Junior year of high school, i used to perform self harm to myself. I had a lot of boyfriend trouble and my friends had completely stabbed me in the back and I just couldn’t take the humiliation anymore. Cutting became an overwhelming addiction and I couldn’t stop. Eventually my parents caught on to my behavior and one day my father came to me and asked if i wanted to wake up tomorrow and i said no. I was taken to the hospital so that i could immediately talk to psychiatrists about how i was feeling. I figured when i was done I would just […]
I hate how he name calls.
I hate how he doesn’t trust me.
I hate how he puts me down.
I hate how controlling he is.
I hate how he has uncontrollable anger.
I hate how he thinks he’s better than me.
I hate how he makes me feel dumb.
I hate how he let’s his friends put me down.
I hate how he talks badly about my family.
I hate how he sometimes doesn’t take me seriously.
I HATE how he has changed.
I love how he has gorgeous green eyes.
I love how he has the cutest smile.
I love how he has good […]
I stumled upon this site looking up techniques on how to sleep. I know how to get myself to sleep but i rather use my phone to distract myself. I always had trouble sleeping through the night because I cannot turn off. During the day I don’t think much about anything. As much as I love dreaming- I rather toss, turn nd give myself a headache. A thunderstorm has been over me for about an hour now..it’s beautiful nd therapeutic. Cleared my mind of all this anxiety.
How is everyone else feeling this morning?
Please talk to me after you read…..I need…idk..
Tonight is the night
Through my hate and demise.
I sit, waiting in fright.
In darkness blinded by my own surprise.
Weeping for hours.
And screaming in tears.
Walking through towers and showers ,
Through my own bloody tears.
What is the sound I hear in my mind.
Ofcourse it’s the sound I know all to well…laughing and jeers
To some,it would be of some wicked crime
I grabbed my military issued knife and tied a gag
As I slowly but surely cut my wrists
Watching slowly as the blood drips in a bag..
Wishing more hate apon my soul in […]