Laying around the past few days trying to get over this sinus infection before I go, my thoughts have revolved around possible failure. I do not fear success in killing myself but rather starting, and then waking up in a hospital bed with a breathing tube down my throat and my ankles and wrists in restraints.
That actually scares me since I have a terrible gag response to anything touching the back of my throat and even the thought of my arms being restrained would put me into claustrophobic panic. They could tie my feet and legs but not my arms being pinned down, as that […]