Laying around the past few days trying to get over this sinus infection before I go, my thoughts have revolved around possible failure.Â I do not fear success in killing myself but rather starting, and then waking up in a hospital bed with a breathing tube down my throat and my ankles and wrists in restraints.
That actually scares me since I have a terrible gag response to anything touching the back of my throat and even the thought of my arms being restrained would put me into claustrophobic panic.Â They could tie my feet and legs but not my arms being pinned down, as that would drive me insane. (more than I already am) 🙂
It is funny that I should dwell on that at this late stage, but I may have to change my chosen location to a more remote spot.Â I want to be discovered, but only after I am positively dead, and not sort-of dead where they could bring me back. 😉
For a person that truly wants it, dieing once should be enough. But then they do say that practice makes perfect.Â 🙂